Awareness, Pop-Culture | Posted by Julie Z on 04/15/2009

Rihanna and Chris Brown

Rihanna and Chris Brown  

Rihanna and Chris Brown

Let’s talk about dating violence!

No, seriously. I don’t think I have to recap the Rihanna / Chris Brown debacle but just in case, here’s what allegedly happened in 15 seconds or less: There was a txt message from some girl to Chris Brown asking for a booty call, Rihanna saw it and got angry, they argued, she got out of the car, he pulled her back in and started to hit her. Violence ensued.


But apparently this situation, aggravated tenfold by the stupid media, got even worse.

According to this article “Teenage Girls Stand by Their Man.”

One girl said that she “thought she [Rihanna] was lying or that the tabloids were making it up.” After seeing a picture of the beat up Rihanna, she quickly changed their answer to, “She [Rihanna] probably made him [Chris Brown] mad for him to react like that…you know like bring it on? She probably feels bad that it was her fault, so she took him back.”

NO. Please don’t tell me that this is what teenage girls are thinking?

But in a way I sort of can’t blame teenage girls totally when “credible” news sources like the New York Daily News suggest that Rihanna could use anger management classes along with Chris Brown. They even go so far as to add “It didn’t help that Rihanna grabbed the keys out of his rented Lamborghini and threw them down the street. She knew it would really infuriate Chris, and it worked.” 

Yeah. Or she was trying to escape his abuse.

Let’s go over this. If a guy hits you it’s not your fault. If you’re having an argument, you’re having an argument you’re not asking him to hit you. Physical violence is wrong and it’s against the law. 

I really wish the media would have stepped up on this one and used as an opportunity to spread awareness rather than to add to the fire. 


Bottom line: domestic violence is not okay. If Rihanna’s situation sounds similar to your own or someone you know, please go to: and get help 

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  • paula @ at 12:00 pm, April 21st, 2009

    spare me

  • Criss @ at 4:36 pm, April 21st, 2009

    I’m finally reading Twilight, much to my chagrin, and I have to say if that is what teenage girls are reading, if Edward is their idea of a perfect boyfriend, then it’s really no surprise that girls think that it is the girl’s job to make the man happy, and that if he is angry she must have done something and she is responsible.

    Throughout the book Edward is emotionally abusive and he constantly remind Bella, by telling her and by showing her, that he is stronger than she is, that he can physically overpower her. She feels guilty for being so “tempting” to him — she even feels bad that her blood is flowing quickly through her veins, because he can “feel”/hear/smell it. How is she supposed to control how her blood flows??? But she feels it is her fault, and this is what girls are reading and internalizing. Edward WANTS Bella to be afraid of him — what kind of a relationship is that? NOT “love,” and a terrible example for our young women.

  • Erin @ at 1:31 am, April 22nd, 2009

    I saw that article and it was completely ridiculous! The fact that if a woman gets abused its her fault and if a woman abuses she is psychotic is incredibly just ridiculous, there’s no better word for it. And yes New York Times, Rhianna was doing all that she could to make Chris beat her up, because I mean she really wanted that to happen. I hate the media, they’re all starting to freak out about how kids grow up too fast and are way more immature these days… Well if you put images like this into kids head obviously they will become oblivious to any truths and many things that are common sense just like someone doesn’t fight in hopes of being beaten.

    Honestly I just want to see who all these people are that write those types of articles. I could bet you $100 that at least 8/10 of them will be ignorant men, woah big surprise there! Get over yourself, just cause you haven’t gone through this stuff doesn’t mean its not serious and that it is something to be taken lightly…

  • Colleen @ at 10:43 pm, June 7th, 2009

    Amen, girl. I cannot even begin to explain how infuriated I was by the way society and the media is treating this issue of dating violence among teenagers. I’ll tell you right now I asked every single girl at my high school (I go to an all girl school in new york city), and 90% of them said something like “well…she should still forgive him” “she must have done something REALLY bad”, like rihanna was some sort of child being punished by a parent! Its DISGUSTING. I don’t give a fuck what a woman “does to her boyfriend” to set off his anger, violence is NEVER acceptable. EVER. Its another story if a woman gets increasingly violent with a man and he resorts to defending himself. But if she cheats on him or insults him, or god forbid THROWS HIS KEYS OUT THE WINDOW. Its suddenly okay for him to beat the shit out of her?? All because “she made him angry”??? COME ON! THe world has GOT to be more evolved than THAT! I don’t care how angry a man gets, when he chooses to use his hands instead of his words, he’s no longer a man. He’s an animal.

  • Nina @ at 5:30 pm, July 15th, 2009

    PREACH IT! This situation is STILL making me angry today, when I think of how this SOB who pleaded GUILTY and copped a deal is out there whining about his “situation” and having fun-filled jet ski vacations. Disgusting. A little remorse from that psychopath would have been good, although it can never erase what happened- because these things never just happen.

  • For Your Viewing Pleasure | Pop-Culture | fbomb @ at 11:54 am, November 5th, 2009

    […] blaming Rihanna for that whole incident makes me seriously sick. I’ve talked about the Chris Brown / Rihanna dating abuse before, when the reports first came out…at the very least this interview will give us some […]

  • Matthew C. Kriner @ at 2:58 pm, March 24th, 2010

    At first I didn’t like her but Rihanna is a breath of fresh air!

  • Roberto Brook @ at 8:11 am, May 7th, 2010

    I don’t know what all the fuss is regarding Rihanna visiting a sex store. It is legal, it is a free country and she can do what she wants to.

  • jana @ at 8:24 pm, July 9th, 2010

    All of you great comments!! about the twilight thing, I agree with you!! I havent read the books but I watched the first two movies, and I completely agree. Most of our young people are not thinking straight during this times… :( too sad.

  • Samuel W. @ at 5:30 pm, July 25th, 2010

    Frustration and exasperation are understandable, but there’s no stupid sexist excuse anyone can use relevantly to justify Chris Brown beating on Rihanna like that. It was a tragic, blustery overreaction to something that could’ve been solved without all the heat he’s taken for what he’s done, and rightfully so his latest album has flopped and has been panned. This shite R&B singer is getting what’s been coming to him for a long time as a result of all this.

  • Rihanna Tickets @ at 7:59 pm, August 17th, 2010

    That’s what I believe. It is NEVER okay to hit a girl on any circumstance. Girls can’t fight back, would you want to hurt something that doesn’t fight back. I love Rihanna and I’m so happy her career is back on track.

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