I’m 25 yrs old, and have tendencies towards social anxiety, but I’m mainly someone who does prefer her own company over partying and socialising with others. I can only echo what Emily and Janey have said above, about not being afraid to spend time with yourself and gathering strength from that.

If social anxiety is stopping you from living your day to day life, it’s important to seek help, but I would also advise you to not go against your true nature in order to fit in. I agree with Emily in that times spent at social gatherings can be boring, and time spent doing what you want to do instead can make you happier.

xx

Would I rather die not having read every book I want to? Or not having presented myself at 200 or so very mundane, false parties?

I definitely think we need young women speaking their mind about sexism. Sexism needs to be something every girl is ‘wtf?’ at every time it happens. I get the impression women everywhere are hurt by it.

I hate what is (I feel) a huge issue for a lot of young women and my friends – the fact we’re constantly told we’re on one side of a shelf life and NOW is the hottest we’ll ever be. ‘You hate the attention of 40 year old men- make the most of it!’

We’re not living in reality, just a male fantasy that plays at it -just to sort of paraphrase Mary Daly Our world is soo backwards and we couldn’t be freakier for thinking forwards.

Find some friends who you can be yourself with – and ignore social gatherings if you have no impulse whatsoever to join them.

I live in an area of Toronto that is surrounded by strip malls and grocery stores. My wallet is dry. It’s interesting how this little pocket of Toronto simulates a bit of small-town culture – everyone escapes to the city whatever chance they gets and parties when they don’t, haha.

Thanks for the post. I hate it when you’re in a conversation with friends sharing stories, chatting, etc., and then someone brings up one of those stories that is supposed to be “funny” and is really just not funny AT ALL. For example, laughing about hwo someone hid in a room at a party. Or, how a group of girls insulted and teased this other girl until she left the part sobbing. Or how a guy forced himself on some girl and she slept with him cause she was sooo wasted, omg isn’t that funny?

I’ve heard “funny” stories like this shared among groups of people and have always been disgusted at the way disabilities, unkindness, sexism and just plain cruelty is dismissed as the stuff of jokes.

Thanks for remininding us that disabilities, whether they be physical or mental health issues, are very serious.

Steph

P.S. One thing I have to take issue with, though…our supposedly dry Canadian culture?! Speaking as a born and raised Canadian from Ottawa, this isn’t exactly true. (Though you might live in a small town, in which case, I know what you mean! County fairs and 4-H shows…I’ve been there too.)

But in response feminism (and everyone for that matter just look at this girl who posted above you) turns their head to those with disabilities and trauma?

While the second wave had their own problems and errors they did have that sisterhood thing going on, and they were for sure supportive of mental health and disability issues for women! Why the hell has that faded away?!

Well in the 80s we did get prescription meds for depression and anxiety. As for incest and sexual trauma (which is almost always repressed to an extent) the so called “False Memory Foundation” which was made up almost entirely of men who were accused of being sexual abusers came in with power and made the media(falsely) believe that these women were lying. Remember, incest is not taboo, but talking about it is.

I say these are feminist issues and ones that could use a little bit of that retro second wave sisterhood. So right on, sister.

I appreciate your input.

The reason I speak as a woman with a disability is because I have a disability. I have been in the mental care youth ward of a hospital for three weeks, I have been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder by a pyschiatrist, I have been on six different forms of anti-anxiety medicine and anti-depressants.

Hiding in closets at parties because you fear being seen is not introversion, and crying hysterically or isolating oneself from society out of fear is not being a wallflower.

Encouraging other young women in the situation to find support networks, help change society to remove barriers to care, and so on is not whining.

Everyone gets sad, feels left out, feels pressure. It is part of the human experience. You are rather lacking in a back bone for a feminist if the things you listed are causing you to be depressed to the point of it being a ‘disability’. Would you be as upset if a woman told you to smile? I personally say that to people I pass in the street here in New York City.

Just accept yourself for who you are, find others who are kindred to you. None in your town? As you obviously have realize, there is a whole world of like minded people out there with whom you can connect to over the internet.

I’ve only read a few posts of this blog, and I may have just graduated from being a teen, but it seems more like you’re just trying to mask your own insecurities with ‘the plight of the woman’. Sexism does still exist, yes. So does racism, nationalism, colour-of-your-fucking-hair-ism. But honestly, the world we live in is a cake walk for women in comparison to how it used to be. If you want to improve on it, sitting around whining about not being understood is not going to fix anything.

During my teens years I didn’t fit in with the crowds, be it in the growing city of Charlotte, NC or the established streets of Toronto, ON. I even spent a summer homeless traveling the country with my best friend. Why? Because we could. Life is what you make of it, and if you don’t do anything with it, the only person you can blame is yourself. Not your parents, not your teachers or your classmates, and certainly not society. They can affect you, most definitely, but part of the challenge of life is overcoming obstacles and down right living.

As silly as it is to say on a ‘blog for teenage feminists’, grow up please. I say this in the kindest regard, for you obviously are in need of a hug.

I know I’m not the target audience for this blog, but I feel as though I can impart some wisdom:
don’t feel hopeless and worthless just because being extroverted and social does not come natural to you. Take time to be with yourself, write, paint, listen to music… whatever it is, and just try to understand why, where and how your feelings are coming from.
Being self-aware goes a really long way. It may not be the most fun you could ever have, and at times it will be tiring and trying… but trust me, the better you can get to know yourself, the easier dealing with depression and anxiety can be.