I used to be a fan of grinding when I was in high school; I felt sexy and cool when doing it because everyone else did it, and (I thought) it gave me some power to turn a guy on.

However, I am now in college, and have been enlightened to feminism, activism, etc. I don’t know what came first–my commitment to feminism, or me realizing that grinding was just gross, sweaty, the worst kind of sexy, and really did not give me power over the guy at all. He had the power over me because he just stood there while I did all the work and tired out my legs.

It took me awhile, but I have learned to be comfortable dancing solo or dancing with others without grinding (techno is great for this). Some guys are still surprised when I tell them i don’t grind, but they get over it if they really want to get to know me.

More people need to talk about grinding and its implications, and how comfortable they are doing it.

Thanks for bringing this to light.

What ever happened to rites of passage? A boy becoming a man? Shouldn’t society demand that he knows how to treat a lady well? Shouldn’t that include knowing how to dance without embarrassing the western hemisphere?

Ever since middle school I have been attending dances that involve grinding. Basically, I have gone through the same thought process that the author of this article has, and the reason I feel torn is because, on the one hand, it looks fun, and people say it’s fun, but then other times, it absolutely makes me sick to my stomach (I’m not exaggerating) to see these guys dry-humping girls’ asses, and it’s all the more bizarre that it is done to the beat of a song, simultaneously with many other couples.

Also, Drewsie commented that grinding can be uncomfortable to look at. I think half of dancing is the idea that it is something you do for yourself, but the other part is that it is something that is done to be seen. Yes, some skilled dancers may be uncomfortable to look at while dancing, but grinding is uncomfortable to look at in a different way. It is uncomfortable to look at in the same way that it is uncomfortable to stand and watch people making out. Essentially, it is so sexual that I don’t think it is decent to do in public.

I think that the idea that grinding is fun is not a valid excuse for it being acceptable. Lots of things are fun that you wouldn’t just start doing in public, like having sex. Fun does not necessarily equal OK!

Also, I COMPLETELY agree with everything the author has said about the objectification of women in music. I I noticed that in middle school, all the dances where “inappropriate” music (aka music that did not disrespect women) was not played, but equally grindable songs (regarding their beat) were played, nobody grinded (ground…?). To me, this is proof that grinding is a direct result of the objectification of women in music, which in turn proves that grinding is a misogynistic practice.

I think it’s ok for grinding to happen in private or at private parties- honestly, I don’t care what you do beyond the public realm.

My main point: I don’t have a problem with sexuality. I have a problem with its exploitation, and I think grinding in public places (especially schools) constitutes as a misuse of sexuality.

Oh, one last point (I know this comment is getting lengthy, haha). I think this is interesting. I asked the Chinese exchange student at my school if she found grinding to be a cultural shock, and she told me that she did, and that nobody in China dances like that. Also, I talked to someone who had lived in Mexico and attended an international school there, and nobody there grinded. So, as far as I know, it’s just a U.S. thing. Any thoughts as to why this is/what it means? Are teens of the U.S. over-sexualized?