Comments on: How do young feminists make relationships possible?

By: Claire

Claire — Mon, 18 Oct 2010 19:21:53 +0000

I appreciated Bo’s post. I am dating a wonderful man who is proud of how much he’s learned (about feminism & sexism) from knowing me. Sometimes I think I take my anger at patriarchy out on him and it’s stressful on our relationship. For example, recently he commented on an actress who got a boob job. He said he thought they looked wierd so he looked it up online. I got so irritated at him, not b/c of jealousy or body issues but b/c of the male obsession with the female body, with the constant critique, dissection, etc. of females. He never comments on my body in a negative or hurtful way, nor does he “adore” it as if it’s the only part of me, etc. This was a clear example of me getting pissed at him b/c of the world we live in, that’s he is also a part of as a male…I’d appreciate more posts on these types of struggles…

By: Donwaw

Donwaw — Fri, 17 Sep 2010 01:58:41 +0000

ey true that ma man this post is so right!

By: Natalia K

Natalia K — Fri, 06 Aug 2010 01:12:04 +0000

It’s all about the guy being open-minded. That’s the key. He may not know much about feminism, but if he’ll willing to listen and to actually understand and change his views, then your relationship has a chance.

By: Bo

Bo — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 06:51:53 +0000

my partner knows that i’m a feminists and support me. But the movies, comic books, and images that he finds appealing are exploitive and completely tears at what i beleive in. i struggle with that and its frustrating. i’m so stuck!

By: Taylor

Taylor — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 16:46:58 +0000

I just want to have an emotional moment and say that this thread was extremely helpful!
I’ve always found myself steering away from relationships, afraid no man would get it, I finally “gave in” and find myself lashing out feminist opinions at almost everything he says! Now he’s kind of mad and I wonder if I’m too feminist? But really, I don’t think there’s too feminist, just “too closed up to see there’s no

By: i'm sick of words, let's act!

i'm sick of words, let's act! — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 10:16:34 +0000

i am really shocked this question is here and more shocked no one else has thought it was absurd. you go on about how you’re this uber-conscious womyn, but you’re stressing out about telling some guy you’re a feminist? that is insane! you seem real proud of your feminism online…are you so weak you can’t channel your pride to where it really matters?(every day life!) if you really care about this person why wouldn’t you just ask them how they feel and tell them what pisses you off? the very notion that you want to sneak around to find weird motives is creepy. no person, regardless of their sex wants to feel like they can’t trust their partner. it really pains me to think that there are womyn here who are in relationships of any kind where you don’t feel comfortable engaging in really good arguments with your partners. that is how you know if people are worth spending time with, you talk to them!
and as a p.s. what is with the gloria steinem obsession? it’s been 40 years and there’s been alot of amazing womyn who have said some pretty rad stuff. oh! and they’re not privileged white womyn either!

By: Friday Feminist Quick Clicks, 4 « Cook & Hook

Friday Feminist Quick Clicks, 4 « Cook & Hook — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 10:33:49 +0000

[...] teen feminist website “The FBomb” asks how young feminists can ’screen’ potential dates for misogyny before dating. Possibly [...]

By: ella

ella — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 01:16:54 +0000

bottom line (and I can’t believe no one has said this): the only *sure fire* way to tell if he is sexist is to NOT SLEEP WITH HIM (surprise). if he still likes you for you and not just *the goods*, then he cares about you more than just your body. really girls, its a lot simpler than we’re making it.

By: Anna

Anna — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 15:33:09 +0000

I find that, like most people, most of the guys I encounter have a skewed view of feminism mandated by what society says a feminist looks like. While one ex got his ass promptly dumped when I explained my feminism and he laughed and said equal rights happenedyears ago, many guys are just surprised to find that you’re not wearing Docs and burning your bra. A lot are even more surprised when they learn that they’re actually feminists too…always a pleasant realization for me!

By: SarahC

SarahC — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 02:28:40 +0000

To start with, I have absolutely zero experience dating men, women, or farm animals. Why does this matter? Because the foundation of dating is a relationship. And the vast majority of my friends are male.

I’ve known these guys for a long time. We have similiar intrests, a similiar sense of humor, and the knowledge of when to agree to disagree. Do I worry about hanging out with them? no. Crashing on one of their couches when I’m too tired to drive home? no.

Granted, these guys are pretty remarkable. They don’t actually call girls sluts, hos, or anything demeaning. Actually, we mostly call guys whores, when we call people whores. That’s gay–I won’t say we don’t use it, but we only use it in a context where we know everybody’s cool with it.

The truth is, I trust them because I know them as people, not as Generic Men. The one who’s the closest to wanting a stereotypical relationship, wants a wife who’ll work outside the house, so he can play 50′s housewife. It’s kind of cute, really.