Comments on: What My Husband Thinks http://thefbomb.org/2010/01/what-my-husband-thinks/ A blog/community created for teenage girls who care about their rights as women and want to be heard. Sun, 20 May 2012 22:35:40 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: L. Ryan http://thefbomb.org/2010/01/what-my-husband-thinks/comment-page-2/#comment-23315 L. Ryan Mon, 24 Jan 2011 23:02:30 +0000 http://thefbomb.org/?p=1879#comment-23315 I am now 64 years old and was married to someone just like that for 11 years (from age 21 to 32). You need to get out of the marriage if you ever expect things to change or if you ever hope to have a marriage that is fulfilling. My ex husband even told me that if I wanted to have children, I would have to do all the work. Hence, we had no children. He was lazy and childish and wanted a mother, not a wife. Over the years, I lost more and more respect for him. Finally, when he left for another woman (that relationship didn't last long), I think that I was more relieved than sad. The only reason I put up with it for so long was that, back then, you were expected to stay no matter what. I have now been married to a wonderful hard working man for 25 years, and we have a 23 year old daughter. Face it -- he isn't who you thought he was. It's not your fault, so move on with your life. That is what I would tell my own daughter. Life is too short and you are too young to tolerate living with someone who does not cherish you. Good luck! I am now 64 years old and was married to someone just like that for 11 years (from age 21 to 32). You need to get out of the marriage if you ever expect things to change or if you ever hope to have a marriage that is fulfilling. My ex husband even told me that if I wanted to have children, I would have to do all the work. Hence, we had no children. He was lazy and childish and wanted a mother, not a wife. Over the years, I lost more and more respect for him. Finally, when he left for another woman (that relationship didn’t last long), I think that I was more relieved than sad. The only reason I put up with it for so long was that, back then, you were expected to stay no matter what.

I have now been married to a wonderful hard working man for 25 years, and we have a 23 year old daughter.

Face it — he isn’t who you thought he was. It’s not your fault, so move on with your life. That is what I would tell my own daughter. Life is too short and you are too young to tolerate living with someone who does not cherish you.

Good luck!

]]> By: Janet http://thefbomb.org/2010/01/what-my-husband-thinks/comment-page-2/#comment-22768 Janet Tue, 18 Jan 2011 22:04:50 +0000 http://thefbomb.org/?p=1879#comment-22768 My husband is some thing words cannot explain. I've put up with 40+ years of no sex,intimacy,love or no kids. He is emotionaly cruel! He is proud of not having sex with me. I'm on a whole a good person, but I'm really just a second class citizen. He claims were friends only, but friends talk to each other we don't. You are all wondering why I don't leave, well were on a fixed income, I have no family and my friends won't take me away from all this to help out. My husband is some thing words cannot explain. I’ve put up with 40+ years of no sex,intimacy,love or no kids. He is emotionaly cruel!
He is proud of not having sex with me. I’m on a whole a good person, but I’m really just a second class citizen. He claims were friends only, but friends talk to each other we don’t. You are all wondering why I don’t leave, well were on a fixed income, I have no family and my friends won’t take me away from all this to help out.

]]> By: Vicky http://thefbomb.org/2010/01/what-my-husband-thinks/comment-page-2/#comment-11686 Vicky Wed, 08 Sep 2010 01:19:29 +0000 http://thefbomb.org/?p=1879#comment-11686 Oh hell no ! Don't let him treat you like that , Stand up for yourself otherwise he's gonna keep walking all over you. Marrage should be a partnership not domestic slavery. Tell him to get off his ass and do his share! And no it's not normal. My bf and I sometimes talk about living together/ getting married and its always been understood that chores and housework should be balanced between both partners as evenly as possible. I can't really judge because i havent met you or your husband but he seems very immature. Oh hell no !
Don’t let him treat you like that , Stand up for yourself otherwise he’s gonna keep walking all over you. Marrage should be a partnership not domestic slavery. Tell him to get off his ass and do his share!

And no it’s not normal. My bf and I sometimes talk about living together/ getting married and its always been understood that chores and housework should be balanced between both partners as evenly as possible.

I can’t really judge because i havent met you or your husband but he seems very immature.

]]> By: Cara http://thefbomb.org/2010/01/what-my-husband-thinks/comment-page-2/#comment-3682 Cara Fri, 29 Jan 2010 05:22:58 +0000 http://thefbomb.org/?p=1879#comment-3682 OK so I was angry when I read this article but nowhere near as angry as how I now feel after reading these comments. All of you people who come from families where everything was split down the middle live a life very different to many others. My mum did all the household chores (though she did pay me and my sister pocket money to help) while dad did none. He worked 6 days a week in a labour intensive job but mum worked 5 days a week in the office as it was a family business. That's just how things were and how things were for all of my friends too. I am not saying that's how it ought to be though - not at all. My boyfriend hs this mentality and I am constantly trying to beat it out of him (figuratively, that is). The OP's hubby needs to know he's doing wrong and that she will not take it. Divorce is NOT the first and omly solution because lcearly there's a loving relationship there and him being lazy ain't all there is going on in this marriage. If he refuses to change then that's when she needs to make some big decisions. If he trully loves her as she seems to love him, then he'll do something about his childish attitude, but the key is to discuss it first an let him KNOW just how detrimental he is being to their relationship! OK so I was angry when I read this article but nowhere near as angry as how I now feel after reading these comments. All of you people who come from families where everything was split down the middle live a life very different to many others. My mum did all the household chores (though she did pay me and my sister pocket money to help) while dad did none. He worked 6 days a week in a labour intensive job but mum worked 5 days a week in the office as it was a family business. That’s just how things were and how things were for all of my friends too. I am not saying that’s how it ought to be though – not at all. My boyfriend hs this mentality and I am constantly trying to beat it out of him (figuratively, that is). The OP’s hubby needs to know he’s doing wrong and that she will not take it. Divorce is NOT the first and omly solution because lcearly there’s a loving relationship there and him being lazy ain’t all there is going on in this marriage.
If he refuses to change then that’s when she needs to make some big decisions. If he trully loves her as she seems to love him, then he’ll do something about his childish attitude, but the key is to discuss it first an let him KNOW just how detrimental he is being to their relationship!

]]> By: Empathy: An Antidote to “Othering” http://thefbomb.org/2010/01/what-my-husband-thinks/comment-page-2/#comment-3664 Empathy: An Antidote to “Othering” Thu, 28 Jan 2010 14:41:46 +0000 http://thefbomb.org/?p=1879#comment-3664 [...] from church and society. For an extreme case that illustrates the problem, check out this letter from a young wife and the accompanying comments that were posted just this month on “The F Bomb” (“F” for [...] [...] from church and society. For an extreme case that illustrates the problem, check out this letter from a young wife and the accompanying comments that were posted just this month on “The F Bomb” (“F” for [...]

]]> By: NewsCat http://thefbomb.org/2010/01/what-my-husband-thinks/comment-page-1/#comment-3639 NewsCat Tue, 26 Jan 2010 17:15:12 +0000 http://thefbomb.org/?p=1879#comment-3639 Just found this blog. It true that those jumping to "divorce" are jumping the gun quite a bit. But it does sound like the marriage needs conseling or at least some geniue communication. What it sounds like is the husband how transfered "mommy" duties to his wife. Which is fine if you want to be a mother to your new husband for the next 50 years. If you are happy with this situation (and we know you aren't because you wrote this blog piece) then only you have the ability to change it. First you do have to talk to him about this. And it might help to set up time with a marriage conselor (if he won't go, you should go yourself). There are a lot of issues going around and it would help to have a professional to help you sort it all out. But this situation will not change on its own. Why should it? He's got a pretty sweet deal it sounds like. You do all the cooking, cleaning and bring home the bacon as well. What motivation does he have to change it? Just found this blog.

It true that those jumping to “divorce” are jumping the gun quite a bit. But it does sound like the marriage needs conseling or at least some geniue communication. What it sounds like is the husband how transfered “mommy” duties to his wife. Which is fine if you want to be a mother to your new husband for the next 50 years. If you are happy with this situation (and we know you aren’t because you wrote this blog piece) then only you have the ability to change it. First you do have to talk to him about this. And it might help to set up time with a marriage conselor (if he won’t go, you should go yourself). There are a lot of issues going around and it would help to have a professional to help you sort it all out.

But this situation will not change on its own. Why should it? He’s got a pretty sweet deal it sounds like. You do all the cooking, cleaning and bring home the bacon as well. What motivation does he have to change it?

]]> By: Isa http://thefbomb.org/2010/01/what-my-husband-thinks/comment-page-1/#comment-3619 Isa Mon, 25 Jan 2010 10:09:37 +0000 http://thefbomb.org/?p=1879#comment-3619 Ugh. This is not 'normal.' My husband is not like this at all. Your husband is selfish, lazy and chauvinistic. Ugh. This is not ‘normal.’ My husband is not like this at all.

Your husband is selfish, lazy and chauvinistic.

]]> By: TJ http://thefbomb.org/2010/01/what-my-husband-thinks/comment-page-1/#comment-3618 TJ Mon, 25 Jan 2010 07:15:51 +0000 http://thefbomb.org/?p=1879#comment-3618 You sound like a professional victim complaining about the problems YOU CREATED for yourself. As always, Feminism coddles women and completely absolves them of blame. They become entitlement-minded spoiled children thinking they deserve that men have had to EARN. Manhood101 . com You sound like a professional victim complaining about the problems YOU CREATED for yourself. As always, Feminism coddles women and completely absolves them of blame. They become entitlement-minded spoiled children thinking they deserve that men have had to EARN. Manhood101 . com

]]> By: Emily http://thefbomb.org/2010/01/what-my-husband-thinks/comment-page-1/#comment-3610 Emily Sun, 24 Jan 2010 23:35:54 +0000 http://thefbomb.org/?p=1879#comment-3610 Yikes, that would not work for me. I'd do my own laundry and if he wanted clean clothes, well, he should know where the machines and detergent are by now :) Yikes, that would not work for me. I’d do my own laundry and if he wanted clean clothes, well, he should know where the machines and detergent are by now :)

]]> By: olivia http://thefbomb.org/2010/01/what-my-husband-thinks/comment-page-1/#comment-3607 olivia Sun, 24 Jan 2010 18:42:26 +0000 http://thefbomb.org/?p=1879#comment-3607 not that I support those stereotypes. But I mean, even if you play along, you still lose. ...I may not be expressing this well. not that I support those stereotypes. But I mean, even if you play along, you still lose.

…I may not be expressing this well.

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