Feminism | Posted by Kate S on 03/22/2010
Tea Party
tea parties: how lovely!
Yes, the boarding school girl is back. It is an annual tradition in my school for the senior girls to host a tea party for the female faculty in order to visually depict the girls’ gratitude before graduation. As a product of four years of private, boarding school education, I embrace the message behind the event since showing appreciation is a nice gesture.
But why the tea party? It is my impression that the school is enforcing senior girls to uphold the image of refined and educated ladies who have mastered the tea party manners. The girls are expected to send elaborate invitations to female faculty, dress nicely in sundresses, wait tables with big smiles, and pour teas with our dainty little hands. If this was the students’ choice, I would respect the decision and volunteer as a fully-functioning member of my class. However, the event is mandated by the school and what ticks me off the most is that it’s a girls-only event. Our male counterparts are not required by the school to host any form of appreciative event for the faculty and male faculty generally do not attend the tea party. When I consider all these disparities, I can only arrive at a conclusion that my school is, once again, trying to make housewives out of us. Moreover, my class’ seeming ignorance or apathy towards an-extremely-visible gender discrepancy in the school infuriates me. In fact, when I kept bringing up the issue during class meeting, most girls dismissed it as another “complaint” from “that feminist girl.” (Luckily for me, I found a great excuse to miss the event.)
I find this to be a potentially great opportunity for the senior class to give back to the teachers but when the expression of gratitude is expected to be delivered by the ladies (while the gentlemen sweat away in fields and the gym) through pleasantly-domestic means, it makes me wonder what the purpose of my high school career was exactly.
(4 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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Idah @ at 12:22 pm, March 22nd, 2010
You could make it a Boston tea party!
Steph @ at 3:21 pm, March 22nd, 2010
So turn it around! Start a counter-tea party: have video games, make it inclusive of people no matter their gender, get rid of the decorum and such – basically, point out just what’s wrong with what’s going on, and have a blast doing it.
Just my advice.
Amy @ at 1:50 pm, March 23rd, 2010
Are you paranoid or something? It’s a harmless tradition… You really need to put an end to your monolithic mindset. They are not trying to turn you into a housewife. It is just a harmless tradition. Chill out!
Keri @ at 8:29 am, March 24th, 2010
Wow- it shocks me that everyone else at your school refuses to see the obvious. I agree with Steph—mix it up a bit, if you are allowed to. Good luck!
Emilie @ at 10:17 pm, March 26th, 2010
I find it more of a shame that the event is mandatory than the event itself. I don’t think I would have an issue with it if you could choose to attend or not.
I myself enjoy tea parties in Victorian costumes, so perhaps that’s why I’m not more opposed to this.
johnny @ at 2:57 pm, March 30th, 2010
@amy: the problem is the gender exclusiveness. it is MANDATORY for girls, and boys are not allowed to attend. if this were an optional event, attended by choice and open to both genders, it would be fine.
and telling somebody something they are uncomfortable with is harmless and irrelevant is a cruel and petty way to try and make force your own viewpoint.
“are you paranoid or something? blackface is a harmless tradition. it is an acting technique, they are not trying to be racist. chill out!”
KS @ at 12:37 pm, April 4th, 2010
Amy, I wouldn’t really call myself monolithic in my viewpoints but I can see where you’re coming from. As other commenters noted, I would be in total support if this event was: a) optional and b) offered more choices to the students. The fact that this is an accepted “tradition” where girls are expected to do typically lady-like things is frankly, irritating to me. I’ve tried to mix things up by talking to the school but seems like no one wants to take my suggestion. I’m just glad I’ll not be at school the week of this event–I might just die a little inside.
KS
teapartylatest @ at 7:24 am, April 10th, 2010
Hello, awesome article.
learn to speak hindi @ at 4:25 pm, May 16th, 2010
Prompt, where I can find more information on this question?
Ike @ at 11:55 pm, May 27th, 2010
Just because someone has fixed view they are not monolithic!! Perhaps they have thought out all other options (and presented options) and have made up their minds(!!!) – I’m not saying I agree – I’m just saying that it isn’t monolithic!