Pop-Culture | Posted by Claire L on 08/12/2010
It’s Not All Skinny Love
The fashion world is oft misconstrued as lovin’ on the skinny-types and leaving us with un-concaved bellies and fleshy arms feeling lovelorn. However this is an undue misconception which must be eliminated as it is, in fact, not entirely true. Big lips, big lashes; behold the pudgy juggernauts of noughties beauty.
Are your lips on the lean side? Fatten them up artificially and you too can resemble an allergy victim! Use a ‘lip plumper’ for distended lips with a purplish tinge for that freshly-beaten-housewife look we all covet.
The quintessential ‘lip plumper’, which you’ll know if you’ve ever cracked open the pages of Vogue, is DuWop’s Lip Venom. Smear your gaunt mouth with this syrupy goodness and within minutes your pout will be as bloated as a post-Christmas lunch belly. Yum.
To balance out your swollen mouth are the tirade of false lashes which can be found overstocking your local chemist. Somehow mascara didn’t quite cut it and so gluey lines of synthetic lashes were created to enhance one’s eyes. Frame your peepers for a dense mass of fluttery wisps. Hmm, artificial. Want to further beef up your eyelashes? Look no further than Model Co Fat Lash Extra Volumising Mascara. It promises to ‘plump up your lashes with a weightless formula containing cellulose’. Weightless cellulose? Can someone tell me why isn’t this available in an edible variety? See girls, it’s okay to be big. Just keep it to the appropriate areas, and men will find you attractive.
If you don’t speak sarcasm, let me translate; essentially the fashion world sees toothpicks toppling under the weight of their false lashes as attractive. Arms must be willowy, stomaches trim and God forbid your thighs touch; but appropriate facial features must be amplified. We are trained as consumers, convinced we require powders to contour our features into submission. We as women are coached into painting ourselves like dolls- doe-eyed creatures with pillowy lips, meek in demeanour- and all for the convenience and pleasure of the male population.
I implore you to not buy into this scam. Steer clear of feature-altering products. And don’t get me started on Botox.
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