Feminism | Posted by Courtney F on 10/12/2010

A Modern Rant on Modern Feminism

the kitchen: not as related to feminism as one might think!

the kitchen: not as related to feminism as one might think!

The past few days I’ve noticed some hating going on towards modern feminism on tumblr, and hey, everyone’s entitled to their own opinions, but it still frustrates me. I don’t think people really understand what modern feminism is and that there’s still reasons to fight, even if it’s not necessarily the reasons of the 60′s. I mean, I didn’t even really understand what modern feminism was until about a year ago.

People hear the word feminism and associate it with the fight to stay out of the kitchen. It’s just not. I mean, if you want to talk feminism and the kitchen, feminism believes it’s a woman’s choice to stay in or out of the kitchen. I for one, try to avoid the kitchen at all costs because I can hardly make a grilled cheese correctly. But, if I was a good cook, I’d always be slavin’ away at the oven because I have the appetite of an infant and need to eat every three hours. But alas, my cooking skills are sub par. ANYWAY, I’m really hungry, so we’re just going to move onto the big picture.

The big picture is, that yes women can vote, and yes they don’t have to stay home and not get an education if they don’t want to. But equal? Nah.

We live in a world where the majority of males thinks it’s okay to be degrading and beep, yell, whistle, etc at us. Can’t a girl get a vege roll and a side of fries from Big Gary’s without every Tom, Dick, and Larry giving her the “I obviously have a small dick” salute? We still live in a world where women are portrayed as helpless, the damsels in distress, and oh my, she’s not married? What’s wrong with her?

For christ’s sake, we live in a world where it’s advisable to carry pepper spray in your purse because some douchebag thinks he’s entitled to rape you because you’re walking home alone in the dark. We live in a society where a girl has too much to drink and is taken advantage of by a guy who had too much to drink and HER faults are pointed out.

The real heartbreaking thing here is, we still live in a world where (in America), someone is raped every two minutes. And since 97 percent of rape victims are women, every two minutes, it’s usually a woman getting raped. And domestic violence? That’s happening just as frequently too, and it’s almost always happening to women.

How can you know this is happening and not believe there is a need for change?

Look, people are entitled to their opinions and it’d be awesome if more women cared about feminism, but realistically, not every woman can be convinced. So you may go on with your day and not think twice about the concept of modern feminism. But until women are making more than 70 cents to the man’s dollar and until marriage dowries aren’t taking place almost every day… please do not belittle the cause. You may not be fighting for the cause, but the cause is fighting for you.

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  • Natasha @ at 2:40 pm, October 12th, 2010

    I agree with you on your point that feminism doesn’t mean women can’t be in the kitchen, but the kitchen thing is still an issue, but it’s really more all housework and care giving of children. I have been in discussions with people several times, and when they seem to not be able to win a debate with me they say something like: shut up and get back in the kitchen. It’s used as a way of silencing women and trying to take away confidence. Kind of like the sexism Hillary Clinton endured during her campaign.

    Then there’s the expectation that still exists for women to be the homemaker and to take care of the kids, even when both a mom and dad work outside of the home.It’s pretty unfair for both men and women. Also, it’s generally more accepted for a woman to work outside of the home than for a man to work in the home. Stay at home dads are a joke to much of society.

    Another important element in feminism is the rights of men. Men have been more privileged throughout history, but they are still victims of sexism too.You mentioned domestic violence against women, and that’s important, but violence against men is just as important. There are laws that give favor to female abusers and are less helpful to male victims. I’m not saying feminists wanted this or trying to place blame but i think it’s important that feminists try to improve this situation because it’s sexism. Advice to fellow feminists: if you aren’t talking to people in your life about sexism, feminism, and equality, start talking. And make sure that this goes for the men and women in your life. That is good way to help the cause of modern feminism.

  • Tessa @ at 4:56 pm, October 12th, 2010

    “You may not be fighting for the cause, but the cause is fighting for you.”

    AMAZING sentence! This phrase just sums up everything I want to tell my female friends who are “not feminists”

  • Seth @ at 9:13 pm, October 12th, 2010

    Masculism is very similar it is the belief that men have the choice to work or stay home.

  • Natalia @ at 1:58 am, October 13th, 2010

    Loved the kitchen example. And I also wish I could cook haha.

    I know it’s a woman’s right to choose whether to get an education or not but it bothers me when women stop working just because they got married. I think it’s a mediocre attitude. One thing is to stay with the baby the first couple of years but it’s quite different if you never go back to work again. I feel that these women aren’t making these decisions for themselves but for their children and husband. Worst reason ever.

  • A @ at 7:04 am, October 13th, 2010

    @ Tessa- I agree!! Great last line, and great article too. You did a great job of portraying feminism more moderately and every-day; many people still think it’s a bunch of bra-burning (which I know never really happened) radicals.

  • Nano (Nyxie) @ at 8:25 am, October 13th, 2010

    Very much agreed. There is so much inequality right now, and people don’t even realize it. D: More often than not, it’s a struggle to even get people to realize what “rape culture” is (and far too often, once they understand it, they claim it doesn’t exist. T_T).

    But, um, you have some of your stats wrong. On average, women are actually making 80 cents for every dollar a man earns…and it’s roughly 97% of rapists that are men – the percentage of rape victims that are women is actually closer to around 80-85%, including prison rape.

  • Suzanne @ at 2:31 pm, October 13th, 2010

    Two words for this article: hell yeah.

  • Katie @ at 6:53 pm, October 13th, 2010

    This is a beautiful article!

    These days it isn’t necessarily about “equality.” It is, as one of my professors says, about “fairness.” Men and women have biological differences, but does that mean that women can’t work in construction? Absolutely not.

    I have the CHOICE to stay at home and take care of my children or work my way up in a career. I have the CHOICE to wear makeup and high heels or baggy pants with loafers. I have the CHOICE to bear children or not to and still be considered a woman. I have the CHOICE to get a college degree or go find a job when I am able to.

    Feminism is still very much alive and working hard, and I encourage everyone who think that women deserve the same consideration as men to call themselves “feminists” as well.

  • kanadra @ at 1:17 am, October 14th, 2010

    This is a great post. Thanks so much for it.

    “And oh my, she’s not married? What’s wrong with her?” I’ve gotten this before. Except it’s “You don’t have a boyfriend? Are you lesbian?” As if the only reason a girl wouldn’t have a steady male partner is that she prefers girls/women.

    Even though I never knew a whole lot about feminism until a year or two ago, I cannot understand how women can not support the right of feminism. One of my closest female friends would refuse to call herself a feminist or to identify with them, even though she’s a strong, independent girl and could totally be one. And Women who are against women’s rights? That just hurts me. But it happens.

    That summary sentence was lovely and perfect, though. And so true. I agree with what Natasha said, that it’s up to us to talk to people about sexisn, humanism, feminism, and equality of the sexes.

  • Matt SS @ at 7:41 am, July 7th, 2011

    Being a feminist is a choice and women have every right not to identify with the label. Given the fact that pretty much every feminist woman I’ve ever talked to has a different definition of feminist, what would having 100% of women identify as feminist even mean anyways? Nothing. It would be a useless label.
    By the way, I object to your total ignorance of actual rape statistics. Not only are 97% of rape victims not women, but its not even 80%-85%. Honestly, how do you expect people to take feminists seriously when they spread blatant and harmful misinformation about sexual harassment, assault, and rape statistics. Not only do you totally misrepresent rape statistics, which is somewhat understandable since you have been lied to about them your whole life, but much more depressingly you cite domestic violence as happening almost exclusively to women, when its well documented that this is not at all the case.
    Further you make some moronic comment about the small dick salute, as if dick size was at all a predictor for the behavior you are associating with it, and as if having a small dick was some sort of major handicap. Stop objectifying someone by their genitals ms. im oh so feminist.
    This post is one of the major reasons women I know don’t associate with feminism. Axe grinding predicated upon blatant ignorance. Also boatloads of race privilege, class privilege, and so forth. At least there were plenty of comments here calling you out on your bullshit, although they didn’t really go far enough in many cases.

  • Amanda @ at 11:20 am, September 21st, 2011

    Wow. There’s no need to be rude, Matt.

  • Dick brinkhof | Bestdamnawards @ at 7:43 am, February 29th, 2012

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