Creative | Posted by Shenny on 10/8/2010


The morning was grim.

Mom woke me earlier then usual, whispering something about a family outing. Her lips were trembling and her eyes were nervously flitting around the room, as if afraid that someone was lurking behind the curtains, ready to bounce out and kill her.

I wiped the sleep away from my eyes and dressed in the cold darkness of my small bedroom. I could hear my father shouting in the living room. He wanted breakfast.

The sun had barely risen when we left the house. I was confused but too tired to ask questions. Dad was driving the car, his hands clenching the wheels so tightly I thought he might just break them in half. Mom had her cheek pressed against the chilled window, I could tell that she was trembling.

Something terrible was about to happen but my trepidation kept me from being inquistive.

We stopped at a rocky cliff overlooking an angry ocean. The rocks were jagged and dangerous, and the waves of the dark ocean were whipping around, slapping against the side of the cliff furiously, trying to stretch out their limbs to swallow those who dared intrude the privacy of the cliff.

We got out of the car slowly. Dad looked determined, his hands stashed inside his warm coat and his brow furrowed. Mom looked scared and sad, her eyes refusing to meet mine and her shoulders hunched up around her ears.

“What’s going on?” my voice was still hoarse from sleep. I could feel my stomach twisting in anxiety. My throat was scratchy and my nerves felt like they were on fire. Every cell in my body screamed at me to get the hell out of there, to run far far away from my parents and never look back. I planted my feet firmly on the ground instead and stared squarely at my mother and father.

“You have dishonored the reputation of our family,” my father’s words were spoken in a strangled whisper, as if something was constricting his throat and pressing down on his vocal chords. His eyes were wild, he looked terrifying.

“What?” all traces of sleepiness had disappeared from my voice and eyes. The panic that had been mildly gnawing away at my sides suddenly gripped my chest in a cold, unforgiving clasp. My heartbeat doubled, and cold sweat coated the inside of my clenced hands.

“We can’t allow you to continue on doing this,” my father continued as if I hadn’t uttered a single word, “this is where it ends.”

My parents had moved around me so that they were standing by the car and I was standing on the edge of the cliff, my back to the stormy water. I could see my father’s right hand leave his coat pocket. His finger were wrapped around a pistol, his arms steadier than I’d have expected. He raised the gun to eye-level and stared at me as he perfected his aim.

I spared a shocked glance at my mother and could see tears running down her cheeks. My eyes moved back to my father, and for a split second I could read hesitation in his eyes, despair in the features of his well-loved face. My mother jumped in shock as seven quick shots were fired into my chest.

The bullets punched holes into my heart and lungs. Piercing pain electrified every nerve in my body. My breath had caught in my throat and I reflexively raised a hand to stop the sudden onslaught of bullets. My head was suddenly clear and all I could see were my mom and dad, standing there in shock, their featues distorted with fear and uncertainty, every color hightened as I took my last breath.

And then everything went dark as I fell in the sea behind me.

Inspired by The Crimewave that Shames the World

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  • Ryan @ at 1:34 pm, October 8th, 2010

    Awesome suspense/thriller/fiction writing : )

    Where is the feminist element to this story?

    Women actually commit the majority of child murders, I’m not talking about abortion either. Look it up, it’s true.

    I believe more so than for anyone else we need to prevent women’s violence against children.

  • A @ at 2:47 pm, October 8th, 2010

    Great job!! If I may ask, what did the character do to achieve dishonor? Is it premarital sex (my assumption)? Or something else?

    @ Ryan: I agree somwhat. I believe that we need to prevent EVERYONE’s violence against children. There is no reason to highlight one of the sexes as the propagator of this problem.

  • Sophie @ at 2:52 pm, October 8th, 2010

    Ryan, quit the trolling, and start to realise that honour killings (like the one described in this) are perpetrated by men against women because of societal norms that restrict female sexual expression and choice. You can’t say to ignore honour killings just because of some so called statistics that you plucked out of your own lack of mind. You’re reading a feminist blog. You’re clearly looking for feminist work. And there is a feminist point in this because of the patriarchal societal expectations that encourage horrible aspects of ‘culture’ like honour killings.

  • Shenny @ at 10:20 am, October 10th, 2010

    Ryan; thanks :D

    I’m guessing the feminist element in this story is the fact that honor killing is a feminist issue as it happens mostly to women/girls. That’s why I chose to write about it.

    And this isn’t about child killing, it’s about honor killing. And the whole women’s violence against children thing- I agree with A, there is no reason to focus on the crimes of one sex and not the other. We should be working to prevent violence against children, full stop.

    A; I actually didn’t specify on purpose. I was, however, thinking about this one girl who was mentioned in the article linked at the end of the story; her parents took her on a picnic and then shot her seven times because they found an unfamiliar number on her cell phone.

  • C @ at 11:33 am, October 10th, 2010

    We nneed to stop violence against anyone, from anybody, of course. Having said that, I read this as an “honour killing” which mostly happen in Muslim cultures where the young woman (it is mostly women) is killed for having done something as awful as talk to a boy, or want to marry a Muslim of a different sect or even just have some independence. In these cases, it does seem to be a male relative or several that kills the young woman. So, honour killing is a feminist issue.

  • Shenny @ at 1:29 pm, October 14th, 2010

    Honor killing doesn’t happen in only Muslim cultures, it happens in very conservative Christian cultures as well. It’s not a Muslim thing, it’s a messed up culture thing.

    I just want to make it clear that I’m Muslim and that I don’t believe in honor killing, and that my parents see me talk with boys without have the urge to kill me for it.

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