Feminism, Pop-Culture | Posted by Hira B on 03/18/2011

My Body Isn’t An Invitation for Sexual Harassment

not open to the public

not open to the public

I’m a fourteen year-old girl and I wear a DD bra. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve been asked what bra size I wear, and my response has always been, “It’s none of your business.” No matter how firmly I answer, the person will start laughing and ask again.

When boys speak to me, they tend to look at my breasts instead of my face. I mean its basic manners to look at someone in the face when having a conversation, but guess what? That’s not the worst the thing I’ve experienced because of my breasts.

Some boys in my year used to walk up to me, start a conversation, then grab my boob and walk off, laughing. At first I’d stand there thinking, “Did that really just happen?” I was embarrassed at first, but then I realized there’s no need to be embarrassed because I didn’t do anything wrong – in fact, it’s a form of sexual abuse!

What disturbed me the most was that one of my teachers saw my classmate do that and she didn’t even say anything to him.
One time I got so frustrated that, since obviously nobody was going to help me, I kicked a guy as hard as possible in the nuts after he touched my boob. It may not have been the best response, but I can honestly say it kept him away. The next time it happens, though, I’ll scream and shout at him about sexual harassment as loud as I can until justice is served.

I see so many girls on Facebook joining groups along the lines of “I want a boob job” or “She has big boobs so she’s a slag” (which obviously is ridiculous – anatomy doesn’t make you slutty). But believe me, when you do have “big boobs,” you’ll realize that there are some huge downsides, especially the fact that a lot of assholes only speak/like you because of the size of your breasts and not because of your personality.

So I’m begging you girls – PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE be happy with the size of your breasts. Obviously I can’t speak from the viewpoint of a “flat-chested” girl, but the size of your boobs shouldn’t affect your personality or anything you do in life. Remember – you’re beautiful just the way you are. And if people can’t see that, then they’re not worth your time or effort. Try to be the best person you can be and love what you have.

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  • Devin @ at 11:48 am, March 18th, 2011

    I once had a teacher (who was small chested) who was wearing a shirt that a student couldn’t read. The student asked what it said and everyone sort of groaned. The teacher replied “well why don’t I just give it to Devin? That way everyone will be able to read it!”

    The class sort of laughed and then got quiet, to see what I would do.

    I was so shocked that I couldn’t even say anything.

    It’s amazing when you come to the realization of what has happened after the fact.

    It’s not so much to be happy with the size of your breasts. Be happy with EVERYTHING about your body!!!

  • Zoe @ at 1:25 pm, March 18th, 2011

    It’s been awhile since I’ve experienced middle/high school harassment because of my chest. I had C/Ds and I got a few remarks because of them. I also played percussion in the school band so carrying drum sticks around to whack boys with sort of helped deal with any harassment.

  • Natalia @ at 2:52 pm, March 18th, 2011

    Great post, you said it best, sister.
    I’m a 32A and I love it :P

  • Sophie @ at 2:58 pm, March 18th, 2011

    Aww, I’m sorry to hear that. Being a middle-sized girl, I’ve never had the specific problem you’re expressing here, though I have dealt with sexual harassment.

  • NWOslave @ at 3:20 pm, March 18th, 2011

    I love the picture of the girl donning a barely there bikini and the caption reads, “not open to the public.” Well it sure looks like it’s on public display to me.

    Personally I recommend all men who aren’t married to walk up to a girl dressed like this and say, “nice rack, ya wanna have sex?” I’m mean she’s obviously trolling for either compliments, cock or both, right?

    I know, I know, it’s a woman’s choice to dress and act as she pleases. Choices, choices, choices. Well it’s a mans choice to offer her sex for her choice of attire, isn’t it? Oh that’s right, womens choices have that no accountability clause.

    I guess it must be the patriarchy forcing women to dress with less. But then again, the patriarchy also forces women to dress modestly. I guess no matter how minor any inconvience, the patriarchy is to blame.

  • Kristen A @ at 5:47 pm, March 18th, 2011

    Please do not feed the troll.

    As another small busted woman, I can’t say I understand what it’s like to have large breasts, but I am continually disgusted with the comments made about my body in general. Yes, I am aware, I’m slim, tall, a privileged white middle-class young woman who is considered conventionally attractive, there is no need to make crass and offensive remarks about it.

    As women we need to stand together and disallow this behavior, beginning with making these types comments about each other.

  • A.Y. Siu @ at 9:12 pm, March 18th, 2011

    Why isn’t NWOslave’s comment deleted? There isn’t enough victim-blaming in our society? Now women are inviting harassment because they’re large-chested? I thought this was a feminist website.

  • Kristen A @ at 10:00 pm, March 18th, 2011

    A.Y. Siu, it’s best just to ignore him than to provide any response at all. Most of the time his comments have nothing to do with the topic at hand.

  • NWOslave @ at 11:14 pm, March 18th, 2011

    Oh yes don’t feed the troll…Seriously though, if that girl actually went into the water the slighest turbulance would rip that miniscule top right off. And if the bottom of the bikini was pulled down an inch and a quarter it might be useful as kneesocks. Yet the caption reads, “not open to the public.” Yet none of you find any hypocracy in that caption?

    C’mon now, really look at that picture and the caption. There isn’t one of you that can detect the slightest hypocracy?

    @Kristen A…I’ll address you since your so intent on making me go away. Answer the question in the above paragraph, seriously, I’m interested in your answer. I personally could care less about breast size, I care more about a womans morality/personality.

  • jULIET @ at 11:24 pm, March 18th, 2011

    as a 16 year old with 36DD cup size, it is frustrating in so many ways, but I thankfully haven’t had to deal with the harrassment that you (the OP) has had.

  • Kristen A @ at 1:04 am, March 19th, 2011

    John, the answer is false. Clearly you’ve never gone bathing suit shopping. Firstly, the beach is much too hot to wear a one piece, and regardless of whether a woman is a size zero such as myself or a size ten, no bathing suit will adequately cover what we want to be covered. So no, when I wear shorts that are awkwardly short on my five eleven frame or a bikini top that’s essentially a few pieces of string, I am not “trolling” for “compliments” or harassment.

  • Morgan @ at 11:02 am, March 19th, 2011

    Amazing post. I totally emphasize with you. Used to be the same with me. It gets better as you get older, (some) boys mature. I applaud at you kicking that guy though, wish I had that much guts.

    Sister in Solidarity,
    Morgs

  • Marie @ at 3:22 pm, March 20th, 2011

    Its in middle school and high school where the titty twister is most useful. Its a great defense. When a guy tries to cop a feel, I like to swoop in with the purple nurple and go “Gotcha, see thats awkward isn’t it? Now keep your hands to yourself”.

  • Talia bat Pessi @ at 12:44 pm, March 21st, 2011

    One of my friends in middle school was pretty big (she said she was a C, but I think she was more a D/DD) and she constantly complained about how guys looked at her like she was a piece of meat rather than a human being, to the point that she went to an all-girls high school.

  • Marisol @ at 4:55 pm, March 21st, 2011

    When you catch teh boyz looking at your chest and kind of nodding to it while you speak, just mention that your eyes “are up here”. Then they’ll turn red. It’s quite funny.

  • Hira B @ at 3:28 pm, March 22nd, 2011

    Honestly, I have genuinely thought about moving to a boys school.
    It’s not so much the fact that they ask my size (even though some may find it annoying) ; it’s the fact that they think they have the right to touch them after -__-

    But thanks girls, this is my first article & i’m glad to be getting such positive feedback :’)

  • Renee @ at 10:16 am, May 28th, 2011

    first let me start of by saying…OMG your sourteen I envy your geniusness why aren’t you on a magazine or billboard as a role model wish all people could write this wonderfully…anyway most of my friends had bigger boobs tha me and as they say the grass is always greener they would want my cup size and I would want there’s but now I’m proud of my body and I wouldn’t change a thing about it…

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