Feminism | Posted by Anna D on 10/31/2011

We Love the Female Orgasm! Do You?

Starting college is pretty exciting; everyone’s meeting new friends, getting the hang of their classes, and, if they’re lucky, learning about female orgasm. A few weeks ago, my college’s Sexual Health Educators brought the program “I Love the Female Orgasm” to our student body. After seeing the attention-grabbing posters around campus, my roommate and I went to the event, not quite sure what to expect. What we ended up seeing was an in-depth presentation on female sexuality and its relation to society. The presenters, Rachel Dart and Marshall Miller (co-author of I Love the Female Orgasm: An Extraordinary Orgasm Guide with Dorian Solot), explored a variety of subjects and asked the audience about our opinions. It was exciting that such an under-discussed, even taboo, subject was being discussed openly; students shared their personal experiences, from the stigmatization of female masturbation to confusion over orgasms.

The presenters like to advertise that theirs is not the usual sex-education program and it certainly isn’t. Even though I grew up in a liberal, open community, my health teacher never talked about such topics. And I know I’m not a special case; many students were shocked at all the new information. For example, during the presentation some students were surprised to learn about the extent of the stimulation process and that some women ejaculate during orgasm. The sexual education system in our country’s schools seems to be stuck in our puritan roots (à la the film Mean Girls: “Don’t have sex because you will get pregnant and die”). Well, it isn’t quite that drastic, but sex is not encouraged and the details related to women, such as the female orgasm and the female condom, are ignored.

A fellow attendee pointed out, “Society in general is so focused on ‘pleasing your man’ (magazines, TV, etc.) and male-focused sexuality. It was liberating to hear about something that I can relate to as a woman.”

Colleges and universities all over the country are bringing this program to their students. The turnouts are great; at our school, students were sitting in the aisles to see the much-publicized and much-talked-about program. The fact that so many college students are getting this education (a little late, but better than never) is encouraging. With a recent Guttmacher Institute survey showing that 7 out of 10 teens have had sex by their 19th birthday and that many (46 percent of males, 33 percent of females) don’t receive adequate sex education before they first have sex, more sexual education programs are clearly needed. Hopefully, “I Love the Female Orgasm” will lead to female sexuality being openly discussed, thus bringing about more female empowerment in college-aged women and healthier sexual relationships for all.

Originally published on Ms. Magazine’s blog

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  • Juliana @ at 11:56 pm, November 1st, 2011

    This sounds like a great program! I wish they could come to my school!

  • QuantumInc @ at 7:23 pm, November 2nd, 2011

    I will note many men do feel the need to please their woman back. However the attitude is often that men are supposed to be mind readers and “just know” what the woman wants. Usually they assume this means lasting longer before orgasm, or just being all manly. Without anything else (like the noted presentation) men and often women assume good sex is just like porn.

  • Claymore @ at 9:09 am, November 16th, 2011

    I’ve seen some feminist porn that showed good sex, but yeah, most porn is not good sex ed. There are many women who enjoy intercourse (which is what a lot of porn focuses on, along with fellatio), but not all do, most can’t orgasm from that alone, and many women who could enjoy intercourse are not or are actually finding it painful when they don’t want pain (though some people do, nothing againt BDSM) because they are not aroused and lubricated enough before they attempt/have it (a lot of women do not produce enough of their own lubricant for painless intercourse, and there’s still a lot of stigma about using lube. Obviously this is if we’re talking about vaginal intercourse, anal intercourse without lube is really not advisable at all.) For the record, I like intercourse to last a long time (my boyfriend lasts for ages), I’m not saying someone isn’t a real man if they ejaculate and/or orgasm quickly, and I’m not saying that all women want intercourse to last a long time, but some of us do.

  • Claymore @ at 9:18 am, November 16th, 2011

    Note: There’s other stuff I wanted to say, but I’ll present a short version because I think I’ve spent more than enough time for my liking on the internet in the past few days:

    Sex educators often do not mention masturbation or the clitoris, and this is sexist, and it would still not be good enough even if they did mention clitorises but not masturbation. Everyone, regardless of age, has the right to masturbate, we all own our own bodies.

    Fellatio – As things stand, women who do want to do it often end up feeling bad because they think it makes them anti-feminist or a slut or means they must want to be submissive even if they don’t or some other sexual shame aspect, and women who don’t want to do it often get pushed into it because society doesn’t care enough about consent and there’s this idea of women’s job being to take care of men including their sexual “needs”.

  • Renee @ at 1:00 pm, November 22nd, 2011

    Sex Ed in this country is so bad it’s basically a glorified biology class and most of the time they just called it “Health” and looped it in with bulimia and substance abuse(i live in Texas I don’t know how it is in other states).
    I mean to me sex ed should be biology a discussion on abstinence abortion rape/consent and the different sexual orientation. But then again I don’t live in the type of world where unicorns poop rainbows….

  • Anna @ at 2:41 am, November 25th, 2011

    @ Claymore – get a life!

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