Feminism | Posted by Mercedes V on 11/9/2011
I Come In Peace
not a feminist
Introductions are such silly things sometimes. As a child, I was given the impression that they would be as easy as a “Hi, my name is Mercedes. It’s a pleasure to meet you” plus a relevant fact or two about myself. Growing up, however, has proven to me that they are anything but.
I don’t know what it is about the word ‘feminist’ but it seems to conjure up the image of an all-mighty ball-breaker for a lot of people. Far too often when mentioning that I’m a feminist I am forced to face the awfully disgruntled face of a man who looks like his masculinity was just stolen from him. Or (possibly worse), the irritated face of somebody who clearly does not know what feminism is. Now, that’s not to say all men and women react that way to the concept of feminism. But for those who force me to create an elaborately drawn egoistic suicide plan: this one is for you.
I believe I first (metaphorically) signed up to join the feminist bandwagon when I told my step-father to shove the household gender roles he so preferred up his ass. However, in signing up for feminism, I did not, in fact, enlist myself to help plot the murder of billions of men around the world — though, apparently, that’s what some people think I did. Feminism is not about man-hating. But talk to a few people here and there and one will realize that there seems to be a lot of confusion when it comes to defining the actual movement of feminism.
Feminism is not about hating every single being with a penis. If you do happen to hate men, feminism is actually not for you, since it’s a movement about equality (not one gender being better than the other). So to all the men who seem to think that they are being targeted by feminists, who feel that feminists hate them or feel that they have even met a feminist who hated them, think about this: there are about seven billion people on this planet. It’s quite hard to keep track of everybody who calls themselves a feminist. So if there are women out there who in the name of feminist espouse horrible things about guys, just know that we (the real feminists) can’t control what they say or do. We can’t just shut them down. But know that those of us who are actually feminists don’t support them or what they are saying/doing.
Don’t be afraid of feminists like myself. I invite conversations with strangers and am actually pretty friendly. Contrary to popular belief, I come in peace.
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Read other posts about: Feminism, feminism and men, feminist stereotypes, male feminists, man-hating, man-hating feminists, teenage feminism
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Talia bat Pessi @ at 6:43 pm, November 9th, 2011
Great post. I deal with this attitude a lot too, but I thought it was just because the demographic I deal with is particularly ignorant of social movements.
Ariel @ at 4:34 am, November 10th, 2011
Great post but 1 problem.
just know that we (the real feminists) can’t control what they say or do. We can’t just shut them down. But know that those of us who are actually feminists don’t support them or what they are saying/doing.
Sounds like that um… ‘No real Christian’ strawman. (I doubt that is the correct name but if you know what I’m talking about then it doesn’t matter.)
I’m not a woman who hates men, I just hate it when those women get discounted cause they hate men. Yeah, feminism may very well just be called Equalism these days, but sometimes the misanderists do a great part in calling guys out for the bullshit they bring into womens lives. Cause they don’t respect men they don’t fear hurting their egos or feelings in severely blunt words.
Every woman, whether you consider them feminist or not by your standards, plays their part.
Mercedes @ at 6:53 pm, November 10th, 2011
@Ariel: My point really wasn’t to discount them as women but to clarify that their behvaiour isn’t “feminist” at all. I personally don’t agree with the notion that their behvaiour does any men good because all it really does is paint a bad image of feminism. It is also brings up a great deal of irony when women like that call themselves feminists. Think about it this way, if feminism is about wanting equality between both genders, why is it okay for a woman to hate other men and thus treat them unfairly in the name of “feminism”? Just some food for thought. I appreciate any form of feedback though, really.
Aimee @ at 10:44 pm, November 10th, 2011
Today, I told my boyfriend that I was a feminist. He shot me a quizzical look and said:
“There’s no way you can be a feminist babe! You like sexy underwear and wear hella makeup! Feminist don’t do that!”
I tried to explain (in vain) that that was a stereotype, but it just ended in a resigned sigh and a “whatever babe”
Rebecca G @ at 4:39 am, November 13th, 2011
Brilliant post! I was at a party a few weeks ago and I told a guy I was a feminist… he replied, ‘Does that mean you’re a lesbian?’ I think it’s an education thing, feminism’s a pretty simple concept but people don’t understand it.
Vanessa @ at 5:27 am, November 14th, 2011
Thank you so much for this. Girl, I wish I could tell everyone on Youtube about this.
NWOslave @ at 7:42 pm, November 19th, 2011
Do you have the right to life, autonomy, property and vote? That’s all any man has. There are countless charities, State organisations, (VAWA, Title IX, AA), the list is endless. And everyone of them is a slap in the face to men everywhere, costing trillions a year.
The very basis of feminism is women are, and have always been oppressed. Therefore, since the very core of feminism is, “women are oppressed,” men must be the oppressors. This is simply victim mentality feminism uses to elicit extra resources for women only, and to further foster hatred of men.
Take the notorious, often cited false wage gap myth of women earning 70 cents per dollar a man earns. Any company that hired only women would easily outcompete a company that hired only men. The obviousness of the wage gap myth is easily laid bare with the slightest bit of critical thought.
Every quota is further proof of feminisms misguided explaination of equality. Any field in which men are in the majority, feminists scream sexism and laws are enacted. When the first prerequisite for education, politics, charity or employment is, “are you a woman?” This is not only sexism, but hatred as well. By law, women are demanding to be given, due to be born a woman, what a man must earn.
Your rights once again are, life, autonomy, property and vote. If you’re recieving or demanding more, guarunteed by State or corporate coercion. You’re part of the problem.
Mercedes @ at 11:20 pm, November 19th, 2011
@NWOSlave: If you read my article and felt that way then you read it wrong. In no way are feminists out to blame every man for their problems. Additionally, there are countless charities for men as well. I also made a point of highlighting women who fit your description and are NOT to be considered feminists.
Whatever the case, your comment was extremely ignorant and uncalled for.
Mercedes @ at 11:25 pm, November 19th, 2011
I’d also like to leave everyone with NWOSlave’s not surprising track record of comments attacking pro-feminist and pro-homosexuality articles:
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_TFIFUQSXTOZHDLB3RAVYFRS2ME
Pete @ at 9:33 am, December 16th, 2011
“In no way are feminists out there to blame every man for their problems” ~ a sweeping generalization , the funniest thing is, when a feminist falls out of line, she’s not longer regarded as a feminist; this method ensures that the feminist movement as a whole is impervious and unassailable to criticism. Perhaps it would be healthier for feminists to account for their own mistakes and move on, feminists make mistakes too.
“There are countless charities for men as well” ~ look on the media and see which charities receive the most exposure, female oriented ones.
” I also made a point of highlighting women who fit your description and are NOT to be considered feminists.” ~ who are you to pass judgement on who is a feminist and who isn’t? Are you prepared to shut down the whole branch of radical/militant feminism?
“Whatever the case, your comment was extremely ignorant and uncalled for.” – Whatever the case, another sweeping generalization. NWOSlave cited legislation, offered real life examples, acted reasonably by suggesting some base rights available to all.
“I’d also like to leave everyone with NWOSlave’s not surprising track record of comments attacking pro-feminist and pro-homosexuality articles:” ~ yet another logical fallacy, argumentum ad hominem, referring to his track record does not reduce the validity of his arguments.
Regardless, there are several ways you can deflect. You can say I have nothing to contribute on my own. You can accuse me of being unfair by picking each of your sentence apart. You can play dirty too and allude to me being bitter or minuscule in manhood. You can call me a troll, intent on disrupting this forum.
Instead you can accept that men are subject to injustices too like every other human being. Besides, if feminism is about equality wouldn’t it call itself egalitarianism?