Feminism | Posted by Jess F on 10/12/2012

A Newbie’s Rant About Not Wanting Kids

Oh, motherhood.

We’re constantly exposed to the stereotype that the only type of women who don’t want kids are the ones that choose a career over a family and who end up old, crazy cat ladies after retirement. Women are never told that we can get married and have a life without children. I just don’t believe that having children is a requirement to be in a long-term, happy relationship. I really don’t believe that if you don’t want kids, you’ll end up a lonely cat woman” - From Ticking Clock by  Alicia L

I have recently discovered the FBomb and, as a teenager, it is so liberating to see that I am not alone in my opinions and frustrations. I quoted the article by Alicia L because it was one of the first articles I read that just completely summed up how I feel. Although I am not at the age where people actually ask me “When are you having your own little bundles of joy?” I am constantly surprised by the number of teen girls who already have a life plan, an engagement plan, a wedding plan, a birth plan and even a school plan for their future babies.

I find it absurd that in this day and age these girls can talk all day about how they want a water birth and speak with such confidence about how they will raise their future five children while lacking basic knowledge about the U.S. Government. I am not saying that wanting a family or a husband is a criminal offence, but I think these girls need a reality check. Our feminist foremothers worked so hard so these women could have so many opportunities our great-grandmothers couldn’t even dream of, yet when asked about their future plans or dream career, all too many of my peers know is that their future involves babies. Hearing all this talk about babies actually puts me off the idea of ever having children.

Has anybody else experienced this? Have you witnessed your female peers talking about how all they want are kids and a husband? Are Alicia L and I the only ones who might not want kids at all?

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  • Sam @ at 11:47 am, October 26th, 2012

    Hi Jess, I am 17 and I also hear the same from my friends. They continually mention their plans for “when [they] have kids” and “when [they] get married” and most of them don’t even know what I mean when I refer to left-wing or right-wing (it’s almost like feminism never happened!). It makes me feel like such an outsider as I appear to be the only person who (even though I am nowhere near old enough to consider this — and my opinons may still change) doesn’t want kids and doesn’t get marriage (I don’t understand how marrying someone correlates with commitment or love — but I’ll digress). It’s so nice to know I’m not alone in not wanting to have kids and not having extravegent future plans about marriage and children.

  • Jess F @ at 7:02 am, November 3rd, 2012

    Yay! I am not alone :)

  • Jamelle @ at 2:18 am, November 11th, 2012

    I agree to an extent, but feminism is about having the choice on how to spend your life. We all have our own goals in life, and some women make the decision to be mothers to multiple children and raise them. Domestic work is harder than most full time jobs, let’s not diminish the sacrifices made by those that choose the more domestic route in life.

  • Hen @ at 11:51 pm, December 4th, 2012

    Glad to hear I’m not alone. My dad always tries to convince me otherwise when I tell him I don’t like kids and I don’t want any of my own. I’ve finally just started telling people that maybe I’ll adopt one day. Maybe I will! I hope they’ll love their grandpuppy.

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