Feminism | Posted by Sonja S. on 04/20/2015

Why Are Your Needs More Important than Mine?

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Dating and double standards

Merriam-Webster dictionary defines double standards as “a set of principles that applies differently and usually more rigorously to one group of people or circumstances than to another; especially: a code of morals that applies more severe standards of sexual behavior to women than to men.” Double standards shouldn’t exist. Yet, they undeniably still do, especially when it comes to dating and relationships. It’s a reality with which I have plenty of firsthand experience.

One major dating double standard is the way girls are judged as too assertive or too needy when they ask for what they want in heterosexual relationships. We are constantly pressured to please our partners and put our desires aside. This was made clear to me recently when it came to talk …

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Feminism | Posted by Maya Richard-Craven on 08/8/2014

What Makes Asian-American Men ‘Undateable?’

When I look in the mirror, I do not see someone that I understand to be handsome by Western standards. I look mostly Asian, and like so many other heterosexual Asian males before me, I have internalized a lifetime of believing that my features, my face, my skin tone, in tandem, make me unattractive and undesirable.

- Noah Cho, “How I Learned to Feel Undesirable

Several studies have found Asian-American males to be the “least desirable” bachelors, a trend that may be exacerbated by a seeming across-the-board preference for dating Asian-American women by men of all races. The term Asian-American, in this case, covers a broad ethnic spectrum, including, but not limited to: “people who have origins in any of the original peoples of the Far East,

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Feminism | Posted by Maya Richard-Craven on 06/4/2014

“You’re Pretty, For A Black Girl”

“My dick really isn’t attracted to black girls.”

I tried to explain how his comment could come off as a tad bit racist.

“Well, it’s just that I don’t usually like girls like you.”

“You mean, you usually like girls with blonde hair and blue eyes?”

“Well, yeah.”

No, this conversation wasn’t with John Mayer. It was with a caucasian male in a fraternity, one of my peers at USC.

I cried that night on my two-mile walk home from “frat row.” I cried the next day. Ok, I cried for countless nights. Not because I was sad about some guy, or because he claimed he “wasn’t interested.” I cried because I was disappointed that American Eurocentric culture still produces people who fear challenging what they have been taught. …

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Feminism, Pop-Culture | Posted by Celeste Y on 04/28/2014

Lady Promposals: I’m Breaking the Prom Double Standard — Right Now

The art of the promposal

With my grade’s school day countdown approaching the twenties, obligatory end-of-high-school events are becoming very real, very quickly. Prom season feels like it has been coming for a lifetime and for some girls, it actually has. For those girls, it’s an exciting time. Dresses! Hair! Lipstick! Other things I’ve never been concerned with! In my opinion, however, the whole event has cast a dusky, dis-empowering and somewhat misogynist cloud over the final chapters of senior year.

For those of you who are unaware (adults) of modern day prom etiquette — it’s extravagant. A promposal is a self-explanatory invitation to prom. But they are usually and increasingly grand, romantic and often public gestures wherein boys ask girls to be their dates. They typically involve the spelling …

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Feminism | Posted by Kate M on 02/28/2014

What Happens After You Lose Weight

seriously, just stop

seriously, just stop

I wouldn’t say that I was ever fat. I was always just overweight enough that girls would tell me I looked “fine” and guys wouldn’t tell me much of anything (because I guess my dazzling intellect and sense of humor wasn’t high on their priority list). As a feminist, I always tried to feel proud of my body. I really did want to accept it and love it for what it was. But that was easier said than done.

Last summer I lost about 15 pounds. When I came back to school in the Fall, I was showered with compliments. “How did you do it?” everybody asked. I told some that I hardly even noticed my weight loss and that I had no idea how …

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Pop-Culture | Posted by Ally B and Emma M on 10/2/2013

A Response to “The 100 Things Every 20-Something Needs to Realize”

When we noticed the article “The 100 Things Every 20-Something Needs to Realize” being posted and reposted on Facebook last week by some of our favorite ladies, we thought we’d give it a look. We hoped we’d find an article riddled with inspirational truths for us 20-somethings at a time in our lives where we could all use a little advice– whether about our future career paths, falling in love, or just growing up in general.

We were disappointed to find, however, that what Paul Hudson had in mind when writing this article was less inspiration and more provocation.

Although some of the pieces of “advice” on his 100-point list were valid–his assertion of Facebook as a waste of time and his recommendation to start using your alarm clock, for …

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Feminism | Posted by Sara Wong on 07/24/2013

On Being ‘Friends With Benefits’

Not quite.

The tricky thing about friends with benefits is that the lines you painstakingly set up get blurred so quickly; before you know it, there are no longer any lines discerning black from white — it is all just a pale shade of grey. You question all your emotions and when you start doing that, nothing is simple anymore. You constantly have to stop and think — the spontaneity that was once so attractive disappears. As the feelings increase, so does the hesitancy. And for me, the only time I felt truly comfortable was during sex, because we did not need to say a word. Too bad sex can’t last forever.

He knew he was hurting me — or rather, that our arrangement was detrimental to me. I hated …

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Feminism | Posted by Ria D on 12/17/2012

Does It Make Me A Bitch To Turn Him Down?

In the midst of last year’s prom frenzy, as I was pulling my car out of the parking lot and waiting in line to leave, one of my friends popped into my car for a chat. He was irate: “Have you heard about Alex?” Before I got the chance to respond, he was off on a rant about how two guys had asked her to prom and she had said no to both of them, which of course makes her a gigantic bitch. He quickly figured out he was ranting to the wrong person because I set him straight: just because Alex turned both guys down, it didn’t make her any less of a good person. He argued with me about how both guys made such a big effort for …

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