Feminism | Posted by Sara Wong on 07/24/2013
On Being ‘Friends With Benefits’
The tricky thing about friends with benefits is that the lines you painstakingly set up get blurred so quickly; before you know it, there are no longer any lines discerning black from white — it is all just a pale shade of grey. You question all your emotions and when you start doing that, nothing is simple anymore. You constantly have to stop and think — the spontaneity that was once so attractive disappears. As the feelings increase, so does the hesitancy. And for me, the only time I felt truly comfortable was during sex, because we did not need to say a word. Too bad sex can’t last forever.
He knew he was hurting me — or rather, that our arrangement was detrimental to me. I hated …
Feminism | Posted by Ria D on 12/17/2012
Does It Make Me A Bitch To Turn Him Down?
In the midst of last year’s prom frenzy, as I was pulling my car out of the parking lot and waiting in line to leave, one of my friends popped into my car for a chat. He was irate: “Have you heard about Alex?” Before I got the chance to respond, he was off on a rant about how two guys had asked her to prom and she had said no to both of them, which of course makes her a gigantic bitch. He quickly figured out he was ranting to the wrong person because I set him straight: just because Alex turned both guys down, it didn’t make her any less of a good person. He argued with me about how both guys made such a big effort for …
Feminism | Posted by Carmen M on 08/24/2012
“You’re A Virgin? I Really Respect You For That.”
virginity does not equal purity
As you get older, more and more of your peers have sex. I’m currently 19 and know plenty of people who haven’t had sex. But because of the media’s stereotypical portrayal of young people as raging sex addicts, many people my age exaggerate about their sexual experience either to impress others or just to appear as if they’re “keeping up”.
But honestly, I don’t want to rant about people my age and sex. Frankly, I don’t care whether or not you have or haven’t had sex. I lost my virginity in February during a one night stand. I was 18. I know the social repercussions of being a virgin (a ‘late bloomer’) as well as the repercussions of being a slut. What I want to …
Feminism | Posted by Ama K on 08/17/2012
Sex and Christianity
Purity Rings: Not For Everybody
I was born and raised a Christian. From the time I came out of the womb, I was immersed in a highly religious family, and I lived most of my life with blinders on. I never really questioned anything and just accepted whatever was said to me. As I got older, I got more curious and began questioning the beliefs I was raised with more. I still believe in God and consider myself a Christian, but there are many aspects of my religion that I don’t agree with.
At church one Sunday, I went to the teen service and the topic that week was virginity and sex before marriage. I personally don’t plan on waiting until marriage, but I was interested in what was going …
Feminism | Posted by Julie Z on 07/27/2012
Can Guys and Girls REALLY Be Just Friends?
the age old question
It’s always pissed me off that I can’t seem to hang out with any one of my guy friends without the nature of that relationship being called into question. You talk all the time and you have so much in common, my female friends have pointed out about these friendships past and present, as if these qualities automatically meant a romantic relationship had to follow. On some level I understand it – after all, teenagers have formed and continue to form romantic relationships on the basis of much less. But I always found it interesting how when people are presented with a friendship between a man and a woman that is actually based on commonality and equality, they feel they must manipulate it in order to …
Feminism | Posted by Alicia L on 07/23/2012
Biological clock? No such thing.
All women want babies eventually, right?
I come from a big family. I mean huge. My second cousins are starting to have children, so now I even have third cousins — third cousins who require lots of family celebrations. Every baby shower or child’s birthday party I go to, I get asked the same question: “So Alicia…when are YOU having kids?”
I always respond the exact same way with, “I’m not.”
And like clock-work, I always get told the same thing: “One of these days, when you’re older, you’ll WANT kids.” or “Every woman wants kids eventually. It’s natural.”
Which leads me to wonder: What is all this B.S. about a biological clock?
Is there really some crazy ticking time bomb in my uterus ready …
Feminism | Posted by Rabha Ashry on 06/20/2012
Arrested For Having A Boyfriend
I almost got arrested today. I don’t want to write about it. I don’t want to think about it but I feel like I have to put it down somewhere.
I almost got arrested today.
This is what happened. I was upset so my boyfriend took me to my favorite place when I’m in this kind of mood. A somewhat shady end of the city place that’s usually nice and private. We were in the backseat of the car. We weren’t doing anything. He was sitting and I was lying on my side with my head in his lap and he had his arm resting on my waist. He was worried that I was cold so he took off his shirt in one of his moments of chivalry and covered …
Feminism | Posted by Rachel D on 03/14/2012
You Do Have A Voice
When I was 13 years old, I was raped by my then 15 year old boyfriend. For years, I held back from telling anyone except for some of my closest male friends. Why did I hold back from telling anyone? I felt it was my fault. We had gone on one date, and his parents invited me to visit at his house. At some point, his parents left without me being aware; and unfortunately I was unable to escape.
I was so terrified of my female friends disowning me or making fun of me after this incident that I held back and didn’t tell any of them. The reaction I got from my male friends was what did me in. They didn’t seem to care, and gave me the advice …