1) Kristen Stewart is pregnant with Robert Pattinson’s baby!!!

LA Times reports:

  The Aussie tab’s insider says, “When [Stewart] worked out she was late, she obviously started to thinking that she could be pregnant. And because of the timing, she thinks Rob could be the father.” The gossip mag also reports she had a friend buy a home pregnancy test for her and that she is “very nervous about the whole situation.” As evidence, the mag ran a shot of Stewart with a small round belly on the set of her upcoming film, “The Runaways.” See photo at left!

Personally I’m going to go with KStew was probs just bloated. Magazine bitches.

2) Robert Pattinson’s family hates Kristen Stewart!!

Via e-online

not gonna happen

Robert Pattinson’s aunt reportedly said “‘I don’t tink it would be a good idea for Robert to be in a serious relationship with Kristen…How can he live his life with a fellow star with their every move being watched just like Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes?’” She continues, “I think [Rob] will eventually come back home to England and fall in love with somebody he’s known since school. He’s only a young man. He’s too busy to be involved with anybody in America.’”

Jesus christ. Thanks a lot, crazy, for either idiotically ratting out your nephew or just being a fame-starved nutjob. The sneaky little reference to Tom and Katie even though they are no way relevant leaves me thinking that it’s the fame-starved option. Either way, better keep Rob away from us crazy yanks.

3) Kristen Stewart is dating Robert Pattinson and ANOTHER GUY!

The Hollywood Gossip is reporting that Kristen is stringing along long time boyfriend Michael Angarano (SKY HIGH ANYONE? wha-what) while she also dates Pattinson. Oh my bejesus she’s a player. It’s just they have so much chemistry.

Michael is going to save the world. In Sky High.

My ruling: I don’t actually know why she was dating Michael Angarano in the first place…

Those are the big ones. And since none of them are about Robert Pattinson falling in love with a young feminist blogger just by running into her serendipitously on the streets of New York, I can’t care too much.