Feminism | Posted by Gina H on 01/6/2014

Recovering from an Abusive Relationship

After I escaped my abusive relationship I overexerted and exhausted myself at my own expense for the sake of resolving public opinion. I felt I needed to explain why I had been behaving so differently. I wanted to make sure people knew what had really been happening behind closed doors and that it was out of my control. I felt I needed to let other people in, to make them understand, sympathize and care.

I believe this was a mistake, and one that isn’t often discussed. Nobody should feel that they need to protect their abuser’s image. You are hurting yourself in doing that. Your abuser is not fighting for your reputation. Most likely, they are saying whatever they can to negate you, to prove you wrong, to label you …

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Feminism | Posted by Alicia L on 07/23/2012

Ticking Clock

All women want babies eventually, right?

I come from a big family. I mean huge. My second cousins are starting to have children, so now I even have third cousins — third cousins who require lots of family celebrations. Every baby shower or child’s birthday party I go to, I get asked the same question: “So Alicia…when are YOU having kids?”

I always respond the exact same way with, “I’m not.”

And like clock-work, I always get told the same thing: “One of these days, when you’re older, you’ll WANT kids.” or “Every woman wants kids eventually. It’s natural.”

Which leads me to wonder: What is all this B.S. about a biological clock?

Is there really some crazy ticking time bomb in my uterus ready to break out in some …

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Feminism | Posted by Ashley B on 01/25/2012

Let Me Buy You Dinner

“Let me buy you dinner,” he said with a smile. He looked at me with confidence. He was close to me in age, and handsome. His actions were presumably innocent. On the surface, there was no reason for me to refuse. He thought he was simply asking me on a date, but it implied a deeper meaning.

He didn’t phrase his proposal as a question, but I still had a choice. I could say yes and smile endearingly; I could take the sandwich he wanted to buy me and thank him for his generosity. But I knew that if I wanted to live with myself, the answer would be no. I could not carry on as a hypocrite. I could not relinquish my self-respect for a sandwich.

“Why?” I asked …

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Feminism | Posted by Natalia K on 07/29/2011

Life Lesson #1: Love Yourself First

Whether we like it or not, we all have to go through a long list of “firsts” in life: first kiss, first date, first “serious” relationship, first time you have sex, and the first serious breakup (which is never, ever, an easy thing to go through), to name a few. But being a feminist definitely made it easier for me to make a dreaded and life-altering first decision.

I had my first serious boyfriend right at the end of high school when I was 18. I was young, naive, sheltered, and completely confused about what I wanted in life. He was an amazing first boyfriend, though. He respected me, we were very compatible, and most importantly, he was always supportive of all the changes I went through (the best boyfriend …

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Feminism | Posted by Charlotte on 07/26/2011

Dreamboy

In my eyes, he was perfect in every way. Dreamboy was smart, interesting, had beautiful brown eyes, a charming smile. He was genuinely more interested in girls’ personality than their breasts or butts. I thought Dreamboy was a perfect gentleman, and I loved him more than I’d loved anyone.

Dreamboy had, in his words, “exponentially more” experience than I did. He was a ladykiller, but was friends with many of the girls he’d had relations with. I respected that; he didn’t just “bump and dump” but rather actually took the time to get to know the girls and to keep knowing them after they’d hooked up. Dreamboy was different than any of the other guys I’d known in high school.

Then I told him that I’d hooked up (just kissing!) …

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Feminism, Pop-Culture | Posted by Grisel O on 05/10/2011

One Step At A Time

It all started on April 10, 2011. That’s the day my ex-boyfriend decided to leave me for another girl, another relationship. I’ve had my heart broken before, but it was this relationship, or the ending of this relationship, that made me change my mind for the better. It made me realize that as a woman I’m capable of doing many great things to change our world.

I’m single now and absolutely loving every second of it. Being too caught up in my own relationship caused me to shove my activist rights to the side. Yes, occasionally, there are moments when I randomly pass by the “cutest couple” and I can feel jealousy and disappointment flush over my body. But I’m using my healing heart to stand up to the controversies …

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Feminism | Posted by Lily N on 01/6/2011

Good Girls Don’t Go To Jail

I hit him out of frustration, or maybe out of love. I hit him because I was scared and confused and hurting, but none of that mattered. The part that mattered is that I hit him. I found out that jail was exactly what I thought it would be. It was the stale cold from a poorly heated building in a Colorado winter and the pinching of the handcuffs on my outer wrists and heels. It was the pit in my stomach as I held back the tears in my mug shot and the hard cringe as I stripped my clothes off for the female officer. Mostly it was the rush of disappointment and confusion as I removed the pink bow from my hair. It reminded me that good girls …

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Feminism | Posted by Julie Z on 11/17/2010

My First Heartbreak: How Feminism Got Me Through It

This past week my boyfriend dumped me. Now, under normal circumstances, recovery would have been simple. At first, I’d turn the radio randomly to any given pop song where a lyric about “looking into each other’s eyes” would inevitably transition into me sobbing, “WE USED TO LOOK INTO EACH OTHER’S EYES. THIS SONG WAS TOTALLY WRITTEN ABOUT ME AND MY PAIN” followed by dramatic, angsty teen tears. Then, there would be a bitch session with my friends as they confirmed that he was in fact always a douchebag and even though he kind of looked like John Mayer that also kind of added to the doucheyness. Knowing my friends, and our love of festively celebrating the fall season, his picture attached to a pumpkin would probably be presented along with …

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