My First Heartbreak: How Feminism Got Me Through It
the graphic version
This past week my boyfriend dumped me. Now, under normal circumstances, recovery would have been simple. At first, I’d turn the radio randomly to any given pop song where a lyric about “looking into each other’s eyes” would inevitably transition into me sobbing, “WE USED TO LOOK INTO EACH OTHER’S EYES. THIS SONG WAS TOTALLY WRITTEN ABOUT ME AND MY PAIN” followed by dramatic, angsty teen tears. Then, there would be a bitch session with my friends as they confirmed that he was in fact always a douchebag and even though he kind of looked like John Mayer that also kind of added to the doucheyness. Knowing my friends, and our love of festively celebrating the fall season, his picture attached to a pumpkin would probably be …
I'm basically still in awe of the pure eloquence of Melissa Harris Lacewell. I want to hear much, much more from her. Her commentary starts at about 8:30 minutes in, but the whole video is well worth the watch.
At some point in recent history the stance of “I Hate My Body” became a public statement encompassing an entire gender rather than a private thought held by few on particularly bad days. Somewhere along the line, women have lost control of their bodies in the name of society’s glamorization and expectation of self-deprecation. But, as I have learned over the years, loving your body is possible, even for the most self-loathing of us all.
Freshman year was a difficult one for me (a unique story, I know). Though I had been aware of my body in middle school and had brief yet unfortunate love affairs with both my hair straightener and Abercrombie and Fitch in attempts to make my body look …
I’ll admit it: I used to be a hater. After I hit 13, for whatever reason, I started to really, really dislike other girls. I was constantly jealous of them, hated when they talked to my array of (oftentimes disgusting/unworthy) boyfriends and basically wanted nothing to do with anyone with breasts who was outside my usual social circle. I just didn’t like them.
Or so I thought.
Actually, now I see I was brainwashed by society into being jealous of them.
Now, 10 years later, I know that most of my “hatred” for the other (beautiful, smart, talented) ladies around me was actually jealousy. Insecurity. A byproduct of a society that was becoming hypersexualized & overly focused on outward appearances.