Feminism | Posted by Cheyenne T on 07/6/2015
The Complexity of Being A Black Feminist in a Relationship
On losing your first love.
It’s hard being alone after having been with someone for a long time. It’s hard to detach from your first love, to not have that person on whom you can rely for comfort, happiness and safety. You miss falling in love every time you see that person — your best friend — walk towards you.
I recently found myself in this situation, alone after almost two years of partnership. My boyfriend was mother and father, friend and lover to me. Losing all of those people at once — and knowing that he lost the same — was heartbreaking. But knowing that he was one less black man and I one less black woman the other could protect was the most heartbreaking part of all.
Pop-Culture | Posted by Susannah F on 02/14/2014
This Valentine’s Day, Treat Yo Self
Each Valentine’s Day I can count on one thing: a bouquet of flowers from my mom. This bouquet used to make me feel lame, lonely, not loved in any “real” romantic, non-mommy way. As a feminist I have always wrestled with the significance of Valentine’s Day in my life, not just because it’s a commercial holiday based on consumerism and patriarchal customs, but because the day has never made me feel good or loved.
I did some quick research into the history of Valentine’s Day and it turns out that the day now associated with chocolate and roses dates back to the 5th century. The Roman holiday Lupercalia consisted of men sacrificing a goat and dog, then whipping women with the hides of animals they had slaughtered because they …
Pop-Culture | Posted by Ally B and Emma M on 10/2/2013
A Response to “The 100 Things Every 20-Something Needs to Realize”
When we noticed the article “The 100 Things Every 20-Something Needs to Realize” being posted and reposted on Facebook last week by some of our favorite ladies, we thought we’d give it a look. We hoped we’d find an article riddled with inspirational truths for us 20-somethings at a time in our lives where we could all use a little advice– whether about our future career paths, falling in love, or just growing up in general.
We were disappointed to find, however, that what Paul Hudson had in mind when writing this article was less inspiration and more provocation.
Although some of the pieces of “advice” on his 100-point list were valid–his assertion of Facebook as a waste of time and his recommendation to start using your alarm clock, for …
Feminism | Posted by Gina S on 07/3/2013
The Sexism Of Bridal Culture
I’m not a fan of the whole heterosexual white wedding package. The sexism, gender roles and heteronormativity that generally come with it are far too problematic for me and the fact that this is what society likes to spoon-feed females practically from birth is troublesome. It starts with the Disney Princess movies which feature weddings as the ultimate happily ever-afters. It continues with romantic comedy movies in which getting married is the central goal of the protagonist. And it continues in real life when your friends and relatives anxiously inquire when your ‘special day’ is going to be as soon as you reach a certain age and are in a relationship. Women are taught to aspire to marriage above all else, to crave it more than intellectual success or the
Pop-Culture | Posted by Marie B on 11/18/2011
The First Time: Glee or Not
losing your virginity: Glee style
There’s a first time for everything. Last night was the first time I watched a full episode of Glee from start to finish by myself. The fifth episode of Season 3 is all about first times. For those of you out there who haven’t seen the show, here’s a quick rundown: Rachel and Blaine are starring in the West Side Musical. Artie calls them out mid-way through rehearsal for not having enough “passion” and wants them to pull from their sexual experiences to convey that passion to the audience. Rachel and Blaine are clearly embarrassed as they both admit that they’re virgins. Over the course of the next 40 minutes, the two go back and forth between consummating their relationships with their respective significant others.…
Feminism | Posted by Autumn L on 08/17/2011
The dream I almost gave up on
I’ve always wanted to be in the spotlight, to make it big in the music industry. But at seventeen, I really thought that my music career wasn’t going anywhere. I constantly compared myself to other people and always thought that I was worse. What I didn’t realize was that I was just starting out and had a lot to learn. But that didn’t stop me from deciding to end my career before it started.
It all started when I found myself feeling extremely jealous of a fifteen year old who had taken the part in a play that I had wanted. I had faced a lot of rejection in the past but I thought this particular audition was a sure thing. I didn’t …
Pop-Culture | Posted by Iman S on 03/2/2011
Recently, whilst speaking to my best friend, I couldn’t help but wonder about the level of seriousness in her relationship. It really made me think about how mature a relationship should be at the age of 21. We are at two very different ends of the relationship spectrum; I, at 20 years old, have never been in a serious relationship, whereas she has been with the same person for roughly 3 years. As of late, I sense that there is a lot less fervor in the way that she talks about her relationship.
So I say that to say this: How young is too young to be in a relationship for multiple years? Hell, should it even matter when you find love? Obviously, my perspective is always going to come …
Creative | Posted by Emily B on 11/19/2010
Girls always believe in
things told in whispers. And the
circuits connecting tangential fields of
stars and fingertips holed
in alphabets slip across rained in minds in a circumcision
I’ve invented you, carved you out of traffic lights
to become beautiful–what kills me is the way birds always
fly south, down, and the way their beaks preclude
the possibility of kissing.
I’ve invented the colors underneath your clothes and
the things you could say under street lamps, erased a thousand illuminated mosquitos
But this isn’t a drawing class and the symmetry of sidewalks
is sketched to be beautiful only to insects.
Let’s say the stars are in your eyes, because
beauty is always imagined, and the lights are too
dim by the mattress anyway. Let’s say the moon …