MOMMY I WANNA BE A POLE DANCER TOO!

Oh lawd. There is some debate over whether or not this product is real, according to ParentDish. I really hope it’s not, and yet I can sort of believe that it is, considering that British store Tesco released a similar product in 2006, (although it was about 10 times more offensive) — the Peekaboo Pole Dancing Kit. It included a chrome pole, a ’sexy dance garter’ and an instructional DVD. It was condemned as “extremely dangerous” and even capable of “destroy(ing) children’s lives.”

Well, maybe a pole dancing kit won’t destroy lives. I don’t actually think every kid who would buy this would become a stripper. Why would we assume that little kids are SO STUPID that a doll they played with as little kids could completely shape their identity and future? But I’m not really sure we should be encouraging young girls to go sexualize themselves for the pleasure of others at quite THIS young an age. We should probably just keep it classy and wait until they’re teenagers.

Plus, all this coming after the creepy breast-feeding dolls. I mean…what is this? Dolls are either hyper-encouraging little girls to be mommies-in-training or hyper-sexualizing them? Why the extremism? 

I never thought I’d think of Barbie as a lesser evil. I mean at least she’s been a zoologist, doctor, chef, astronaut, and my personal favorite SeaWorld Trainer. Even if she would be like 8 feet tall and a size 0000 in real life…at least she’s getting some shit done. 

And cue the announcement of newly released Exotic Dancer Barbie…