For example, I’ll be in PE, and drop a 30-pound weight on my foot. Naturally, I scream, “Holy Mother fucking Jesus God, Fuck me in the fucking face, that hurt like a mother fucker.” And for some reason, my PE teacher, and all around hard ass, makes me do pushups. Having absolutely no upper body strength, this action simply makes me want to call him an ass wipe, and yet I can’t.

In another situation, I’ll be talking to my friends, in a completely private conversation, not even meant for parental units or teachers ears, and be talking about one of the hottest guys (in my opinion) in the world, and say, “I would fuck that guy in the face a zillion times, if ever given the opportunity.” (friends can vouch, I do actually say this). And some nosy teacher walking behind me happens to be eaves-dropping (get a life, seriously, eaves-dropping on students?), and gives me a study table (basically a euphemism for detention).

Yet, it doesn’t make sense because I can be in class screaming, “MERDE” (French for shit), “Bloody” (British for fuck), and “Sheisse” (German for shit), and not get in trouble, just because in the English language, those words weren’t considered bad.

I don’t even understand why certain words have such a negative connotation. Just because some nun somewhere suddenly decided that the word “shit” would be a curse word. I mean, she could have just as easily decided that the word “grape” was a swear word, and the word “shit” meant grapes. So then I would be sitting at the kitchen table asking my mom to pass the shits, and getting in trouble for saying grape.

So this is just a big “FUCK YOU” to all the people in the world who decided that certain words in the English language would be forbidden, especially for girls. I, personally, don’t give a shit what you think, and I’ll say whatever the hell I want to say.

There are a lot of things that suck about high school. For one, getting up after about four hours of sleep because of some ridiculous paper I forgot was due and started at 11. Also, having to pick out an outfit that won’t make me look like I escaped from a mental institution. Another one is the “boyfriend” issue. I always get asked by parents (mine AND others) and other various clueless adults seeking insight into our world, if having a boyfriend is still all that important to girls. Without even getting into the “it’s not an assumption that all teenage girls are heterosexual…it’s a fact in my mind” issue of misguided adults, they also reason that girls have as many extra-curriculars as boys (as if boys used to be our after school activity?), and we are more independent (okay…) so why is having one still as important?

Now, I personally can only speak to why girls have boyfriends, but the first thing they have to realize is that girls don’t have boyfriends because they’re so ridiculously insecure and desperate that they can’t exist without some guy agreeing to pay for their pizza every once in a while. Well…most of the time.

First, there’s the obvious fact of our raging hormones. I think people underestimate girls and their hormones. Just because we’re capable of controlling them doesn’t mean we’re not as affected as guys. I know I have a friend whose conversational repertoire is that of eating and hooking up. She’s actually worse than most guys I know. I’m not sure that’s really something to be proud of, that some girls are that single minded, but its true and its something that’s accepted for boys.

Mostly, I think it’s because having a boyfriend is fun. A boyfriend (a good boyfriend, anyway) is there for you when you want to talk and generally cares about you.

Also, it seems like a lot of the time girls have boyfriends so that people will pay attention. Like, on facebook, everyone knows that that little heart symbol is the most clicked on link in the mini-feed. You’re announcing to everyone that someone likes you; someone thinks you’re pretty, funny, nice, whatever: you’re worth it. A lot of the time that real connection isn’t even there: its just affirmation.

So, there’s status. Even if two people who aren’t popular at ALL get together, they’re talked about. Even if no one cared about him or her singularly, together they get talked about, even if it is in more of a surprised way than a jealous way.

I don’t think having a boyfriend is bad. I don’t think it’s anti-feminist. People at my school assume I don’t have a boyfriend because I’m a feminist (or that I’m a lesbian. They’re very creative). I guess they think that the only way a girl can be independent is if she doesn’t have that overwhelming influence of a guy. Well, guess what? Girls can still have their own opinions AND have boyfriends! Yes, we ARE able to overcome the overwhelming power and intellect of teenage boys! Their extreme brilliance and ideals do NOT sway us in any way! Puh-lease. Teenage boys don’t know what the hell is going on.

I know in my life, having a boyfriend has made a difference. Even if its not really discussed or pointed out, I know when I’ve been in relationships, some girls (who also had boyfriends or who just think they’re hot) would talk to me more, respect me more (because that’s just a display of my talent-Look, I caught one!). But the thing is the difference was never personal. I was always the same person, just treated differently.

So my question is this: why or why don’t you have a boyfriend? Status? Fun? All of the above?

loss of innocence...

I’ve heard stories that now there are 7th graders at my school who are making out and boys cheating on their girlfriends. IN 7TH GRADE. They’re 12 and 13. Its baffling to me. Maybe I’m just exceptionally unobservant but I’m almost positive that those kinds of things didn’t go on at my school at that age. It sucks even more because I’m sure that their parents try and tell them to stop acting older then they are, but they aren’t gonna listen. because DUH: Older kids don’t.

The problem: young kids are given this fabricated version of high school. They’re given all these cliché’s they think they have to fulfill. All I know is that my high school is NOTHING like the schools on TV. I’m not completely oblivious, I know cliques exist, especially at schools bigger then my own, but honestly all these young kids are having it pounded into them that they’ve got to be a specific person in high school. I feel like they’ve pretty much already been categorized.  I wonder if they feel like they’re destined to be a certain person because of stereotypes portrayed in movies and on TV.

This is all so sad to me, when you’re young the only thing you want to do is get older, the media makes it look so different then how it actually is. I’m not old, I’m only 16, but I’m right about at the point where people really start to expect things from me. Every time I see a young girl dressing or acting older then she actually is all I want to do is go up to her and just say “You’ve only got so much time left as a kid, act like one. Do it for those of us who have one foot out the door.”

LC's "reality"

When I was younger, I used to love getting mail; it made me feel so important, more grown-up and mature. Lately, I’ve been receiving college advertisements and dreading them. It actually means I have to grow-up. It’s funny how it all works, wanting something when you’re younger and then completely changing your views when you’re older. Anyway, my parents gave me my mail and I assumed it was the same old colleges sending me more brochures, but it turns out I received my monthly copy of Seventeen magazine.

However, when I saw it, I was disappointed. The cover was Lauren Conrad and it was their hair issue. When I was a kid I thought it was the coolest thing to be a superstar. Don’t get me wrong, it’d be awesome to walk down the red carpet and feel sophisticated (even though something in my gut tells me that most stars don’t have that glamorous of a life as we expect). These magazines talk about making a difference and act like all these celebrities, for example Miley Cyrus and Avril Lavigne, are so down to earth. Maybe they are, maybe they aren’t, but why do magazines continuously tell girls to embrace themselves for who they are and yet all of their articles are about how to look better: The BEST Hair, Get Your Tightest Butt, Clothes for Your Body Shape. It’s nice to feel elegant and beautiful, at least physically, but why do they bother contradicting themselves?

More importantly though, why do why don’t they write about the things that truly matter, like the war that’s going on in Iraq, the plunge of the economy, or global warming? There are so many causes and problems, why not focus on them? And why do these magazines insist on showing superstars as role models for us, and usually have the same stars every seven months?

Lauren Conrad might deal with drama in her life but what about the real heroes in our lives like the policemen, teachers, doctors, or firefighters? It’s certainly not fair to them or us. I may sound hypocritical, because I still read the magazines for their articles about college, health, and the occasional make-up ideas, but I still read and watch the news, something that other girls also need to do. They need to form their opinions and learn about something real instead of only caring about what the latest make up tool or trend is.

Photo by Patrick Powers

Maybe it’s the excessive amount of nail polish fumes mixed with temporary tattoos making me nostalgic, but my head has been filled with a constant flow of childhood memories all night. The random pictures I keep finding around my room probably help too. Either way all bring back such good times, when life was simple and my biggest obstacle was naptime, something I crave now.

Bubbles were my guilty pleasure. To my 3, 4, 5 year old self there was nothing better than the feeling of opening a new pack of bubbles. For hours, the rainbow spheres would occupy me. Running through the lush grass of neighbors’ yards barefoot, I took it upon myself to pop each and every bubble. Or sitting Indian style in my dress, not caring if my Barbie underwear were showing, concentration would radiate from my every limb. The biggest bubble was a lungful of air away and dammit, I would do it.

The amount of joy I found in a bottle of bubbles is ridiculous. The fact that something so simple once gave me such joy makes me feel corrupted. The life I was given is so extremely privileged yet I still am unhappy. I’ve grown up and material objects and crazy social standards have corrupted me. I wish I could go back to that time and enjoy the unquestionable euphoria filled each second. Now don’t get me wrong, I enjoy growing up. I love the responsibilities and the new opportunities but I want to experience it with my bubble wand and make every little exploit as blissful as bubbles once were.

And the best part of this branding is that it is an almost completely female dilemma. If a guy gets with multiple girls at the same party, he gets called a player (which pales in comparison to names like whore) and gets a pat on the back from his friends. While if a girl did that, she’s be labeled a slut, and pretty much have a shitty reputation for the rest of her high school career; or in a best case scenario, the rest of the year. To be fair, guys have their own pressures when it comes to their romantic interests, but rarely does a boy’s love life come under the same scrutiny as girls.

Frankly, why do people even care? Ninety-nine percent of all the gossip and rumors about people getting together I hear at my school have absolutely no impact in my life. But even so, there are always the daily reports of the status of everyone’s relationships. If people involved themselves in each other’s business a little less I think everyone would be better off. Really, who are we to judge each other? If a girl hooks up with a bunch of guys, that’s her business. And if a girl doesn’t get with anyone, that’s her business as well. I don’t see why there is any need to tag a person’s moral character based on anything but their qualities as a human being.

Whenever I’m bored, I click on the new photos in my mini-feed on Facebook. A classic pose, first mastered by most as early as seventh grade, is fish face (head tilted, lips pursed, eyes wide). It’s a standard but I don’t really understand it. I guess that it’s to “accentuate the cheekbones.” Whatever.

I even find Model posing pretty amusing. I mean those poor girls probably spent a really long time finding the right angle on their back porch…in a bikini…trying to flip their hair just so it’s sexy enough but not covering their eyes. Although whenever I look at those pictures that obviously weren’t taken by that person on photo booth…I sort of just wonder about the person who took them. Awkward.

While previous generations had the hairbrush-lip-synching-bathroom-mirror experience, we have the Mac-PhotoBooth-low-cut-top-lip-pursing-experience.

I don’t think this one needs a deep analysis. Girls want that comment from all their friends and hopefully some hot guy going “dayuuuum” or “this is SO pretty!” Sort of like how some people still go on those superlatives to check their “Hot” rating. I once knew this girl who was #2 hottest, and asked #1 if they would vote for her so she could be #1. Because OBVIOUSLY it was very important to her. OHkay.

But when I log on and the first thing I see on my mini-feed is some freshman’s bare chest, I have a problem. And when the comments read “U WHORE! Luv ya ”  It pisses me off because there’s a difference between reclaiming the word whore…and actually celebrating a girl who acts like she’d do it with just about anyone.

Plus, it’s really not that hard to spell words like “you” and “love.” I hope.

It may be freshmanitis, but I think not. Girls, put your boobs away. Don’t lick them, don’t let someone else point to them. Don’t pretend you just want to buy the bra your wearing and that’s why you have a picture posted for everyone to see.

First, it’s repulsive. And secondly I think we’ve all read enough Seventeen “True Life” stories about how once you put a picture on the Internet, it will be there forever. Your profile may be private, but if someone is determined enough they can get to it. Most likely, it would be someone you’re friends with anyway.

Ultimately, we are better than that. It’s not funny and any “compliments” you get are just from gross guys whose brains are half dead from playing Halo, anyway. Just use common sense. I mean, hey I like getting complimented on my pictures. I’m not going to pretend that just because I’m a feminist I don’t need reminding that I’m loved.  But lets not let a good portion of our lives become basically devotion to boys whose only achievements are associated with killing virtual aliens. That’s just wrong.