Feminism | Posted by Sara Wong on 07/24/2013
On Being ‘Friends With Benefits’
The tricky thing about friends with benefits is that the lines you painstakingly set up get blurred so quickly; before you know it, there are no longer any lines discerning black from white — it is all just a pale shade of grey. You question all your emotions and when you start doing that, nothing is simple anymore. You constantly have to stop and think — the spontaneity that was once so attractive disappears. As the feelings increase, so does the hesitancy. And for me, the only time I felt truly comfortable was during sex, because we did not need to say a word. Too bad sex can’t last forever.
He knew he was hurting me — or rather, that our arrangement was detrimental to me. I hated the fact …
Feminism | Posted by Emily E on 07/22/2013
Why I Shared my Abortion Story With North Carolina Law Makers
My voice was trembling when I spoke the words “I decided to choose abortion.” I was telling my personal story and expressing my opposition of House Bill 695, a bill that would shut down all but one abortion clinic in the state of North Carolina. It started to hit me that I was in front of lawmakers, anti-choicers, supporters and television cameras. My legs started to go numb and my hands started to shake. I had to remind myself to look every lawmaker that has voted against women in the eye. Before I knew it, I was thanking them for their time and walking to my seat.
Every woman’s situation is unique, but my story is this: I was eighteen years old, a senior in high school, and I was …
Feminism | Posted by Jocelyn S on 05/10/2013
Rachel Simmons at the Omega Institute
I would jump at any opportunity to participate in another workshop with Rachel Simmons, who is someone I’ve admired since her first book, Odd Girl Out, came out back in 2002. I got the opportunity to be a part of one of Rachel’s workshops during my time at the Omega Institute. I participated in the Say What You Mean, Be Who You Are workshop, which Rachel managed to cram with a ton of valuable lessons. Taking any workshop at Omega is incredible — it’s a truly magnificent place where people from all over can reflect and learn in a peaceful and nurturing environment that feeds the mind, body, and soul in more ways than you could imagine — but I especially loved the engaging ways Rachel taught us …
Feminism | Posted by Jenny P on 04/15/2013
Time to Talk
*Trigger warning: This blog post is about intimate partner violence*
Over fall break, my mom made an unexpected visit from California to New York City, where I go to school. She had been called the night before, told that her daughter was expressing suicidal thoughts, and asked to please come pick her up from the Metropolitan Hospital emergency psych ward as soon as possible.
“You know,” Mom began, “you didn’t really look scared or angry or anything when you were in there.”
A good observation. I wasn’t scared or angry. I was mostly just tired.
“You looked like you were thinking, ‘One day, I’m going to write a book about this,’ and like you were already writing it in your mind,” she said.
In a way, I was. That night, …
Feminism | Posted by Carmen M on 08/24/2012
“You’re A Virgin? I Really Respect You For That.”
As you get older, more and more of your peers have sex. I’m currently 19 and know plenty of people who haven’t had sex. But because of the media’s stereotypical portrayal of young people as raging sex addicts, many people my age exaggerate about their sexual experience either to impress others or just to appear as if they’re “keeping up”.
But honestly, I don’t want to rant about people my age and sex. Frankly, I don’t care whether or not you have or haven’t had sex. I lost my virginity in February during a one night stand. I was 18. I know the social repercussions of being a virgin (a ‘late bloomer’) as well as the repercussions of being a slut. What I want to rant about is society’s reaction …
Feminism | Posted by Ama K on 08/17/2012
Sex and Christianity
I was born and raised a Christian. From the time I came out of the womb, I was immersed in a highly religious family, and I lived most of my life with blinders on. I never really questioned anything and just accepted whatever was said to me. As I got older, I got more curious and began questioning the beliefs I was raised with more. I still believe in God and consider myself a Christian, but there are many aspects of my religion that I don’t agree with.
At church one Sunday, I went to the teen service and the topic that week was virginity and sex before marriage. I personally don’t plan on waiting until marriage, but I was interested in what was going to be said. There were …
Feminism | Posted by Julie Z on 07/27/2012
Can Guys and Girls REALLY Be Just Friends?
It’s always pissed me off that I can’t seem to hang out with any one of my guy friends without the nature of that relationship being called into question. You talk all the time and you have so much in common, my female friends have pointed out about these friendships past and present, as if these qualities automatically meant a romantic relationship had to follow. On some level I understand it – after all, teenagers have formed and continue to form romantic relationships on the basis of much less. But I always found it interesting how when people are presented with a friendship between a man and a woman that is actually based on commonality and equality, they feel they must manipulate it in order to fit their ideas about …
Feminism | Posted by Alicia L on 07/23/2012
All women want babies eventually, right?
I come from a big family. I mean huge. My second cousins are starting to have children, so now I even have third cousins — third cousins who require lots of family celebrations. Every baby shower or child’s birthday party I go to, I get asked the same question: “So Alicia…when are YOU having kids?”
I always respond the exact same way with, “I’m not.”
And like clock-work, I always get told the same thing: “One of these days, when you’re older, you’ll WANT kids.” or “Every woman wants kids eventually. It’s natural.”
Which leads me to wonder: What is all this B.S. about a biological clock?
Is there really some crazy ticking time bomb in my uterus ready to break out in some …