what have you been texting lately?

In our world of technology and instant communication, sentiments often get lost in cyberspace. In fact, there’s a whole website devoted to some of the crazy mishaps that can occur during texting. But when texting is successful, I can confidently say that one of its most common (and more recent) uses is as a means of hooking up and conducting relationships.

Some of my friends use text messaging in order to conduct their booty calls in college. If you meet someone at a party and exchange numbers, a text conversation is sure to ensue in the hopes of ultimately having a sexual encounter. One of my friends told me that if she is planning on meeting up with someone that she has been casually texting, she will continue to text until she enters the dorm room or meeting location and they physically connect. This notion of texting as foreplay is one that is worth our time and consideration—perfect for the busy college student.

In the world of the text message, there are a series of unspoken rules that we follow. These obviously differ a bit by location and within social circles, but basic guidelines remain constant. Proper texting protocol can be quite confusing as far as who initiates the conversation, use of emoticons, how long to wait in between texts and the overall tone of the message. In the case of texting as it relates to hooking up, however, all of this texting is ultimately foreplay — simply a song and dance leading to sex.

Although texting is often considered the best way to set up a hook-up, it presents some difficulties. In texts you can be all of the things you want to be in public when attempting to get your game on: a blend of humor which is direct yet still erotic. Texting results in just the right level of invasiveness that allows you to come off as simultaneously interested yet detached. Painfully shy people, who may not have been able to express private sentiments about a person they like, now have a means of expressing their inner kinky selves.

However, there are pitfalls. The limited space of a text can just as easily be sexy and flirty as it can be confusing and hurtful. There are no voice intonations or sarcasm options in texts and sometimes, a winky face simply won’t suffice. Being rejected or rejecting someone via text is much easier to do than via a real conversation. Sexting and other forms of texting can also be the source of lots of drama in relationships. Where then is the line drawn between socially texting a potential partner and engaging in destructive behavior?

Texting isn’t just for hook ups, though, even in a romantic context. Couples also use texts as a way to keep the spark alive during the day and to let their partner know that they are thinking about them. During class and across campus, I constantly see people holding their phones with smirks or wide grins across their faces – it’s easy to guess what kind of text they might be reading.

There are obviously a lot of pro’s and con’s to texting as it relates to the way our generation conducts our romantic relationships. What do you think? How has texting played a role in your hook-ups/relationships/romantic encounters of all sorts?

Sexting: Not Always a Case of No Self-Respect

While it may be true, especially publicly speaking, that “sexting” is a very negative thing for young women to do, I don’t feel this is always the case. Even if it’s not “true love” or if the couple isn’t going to be “together forever,” isn’t it still her choice? I mean, as far as the wide spread public goes, sexting is a bad thing; but that’s just the public view. No matter if the relationship will last, if two people have a certain respect for each other, then I say why not?

you have a phone...use it to CALL YOUR SENATOR not to take naked pictures!

Self Respect is a dying art. This thought was solidified when I heard the latest gossip in my school of the sex video going around of a fellow female student with two other guys. As we see a rise in “sexting” and the CDC saying that one in four teenage girls has an STD, I can’t help but feel depressed and frustrated . So how did we get this way and better yet how are we to combat this issue?

At my highschool, I have sat through the numerous internet safety lectures. ” Once it’s out there you can never get it back.” This doesn’t seem to stop many girls from taking pictures of themselves topless or lying spread eagle while their boyfriend snaps pictures. I don’t mean to insult the numerous organizations and police departments who send speakers to scare us straight but it simply isn’t working. If a girl is in “love” and they are going to be together “forever” I doubt she is thinking of the consequences it will have on her future. So if scaring us straight doesn’t work what will?

How about teaching girl to have a little self respect? In today’s society many girls are left with the thought lust equals love, and how do we expect them not to think that way? When we look at the role models for today’s females it is scary. We don’t see the good girls in the spotlight, being praised for their morals, we see the party girls. Party girls who are popular, who are depicted as beautiful and desirable.They are wanted. Is it any wonder we want to be like that? Who doesn’t want to feel beautiful and accepted? Too many girls think that lust equals love; that by making themselves desirable sexually someone will come along and treat them with the love they crave and they will be happy. Unfortunately, they fail to see that when they objectify themselves, that is exactly what they are becoming- objects. Most of the guys who are looking at these pictures don’t care about who you are , only what you can give. Girls are putting themselves out to be blow up dolls and no one seems to notice a problem here?

How about instead of telling girls that colleges will see these pictures, that they could go to jail, let’s tell them how wonderful they are. How they are worth more than just a one night stand or a picture for some guy to masturbate to. Girls need to see that they are beautiful and complete within themselves and they don’t need to be sold off as anything less than that. Instead of calling them stupid sluts lets tell them how beautiful and valuable they are. Let’s combat this issue of self esteem that is making girls feel like they have nothing to give but their bodies. Let’s raise the bar for relationships and raise the bar for ourselves. We are beautiful woman and should be treated accordingly.

Hayley Williams of Paramore

So, as you may or may not have heard, a topless photo of Hayley
Williams was posted on her Twitter. The post was deleted fifteen
minutes later, and thirty minutes after that, another post appeared saying she’d been hacked. Nobody knows whether or not this is true, but the internet is abuzz with speculation, and, of course, judgments on her moral character. There are some who say “she’d never do that, she was hacked” and some who say there’s no way she was hacked and she’s a trashy slut, and some who say “oh, she made a mistake, we all do.” Well, I’m calling b.s. on all of these viewpoints.

You guys. Big deal. They are boobs. Girls have boobs. Did you
know? Twenty-one-year-old women have boobs. Women who sing for bands I like have boobs, women who sing for bands I don’t like have boobs.Sometimes women take pictures of their boobs. Sometimes people besides these women hack into their twitter accounts and post them; sometimes these women post them themselves but then because people shame them for it pretend they are hacked. Who knows? who fucking cares? it’s not like she’s underage. It’s not like people don’t have topless pictures of Taylor Lautner or whoeverthefuckelse. It’s not like nipples on girls are more sexual than nipples on guys.

People defending her? Stop talking about how she made a mistake, she
did something stupid, whatever. IT DOESN’T MATTER. Because women in
any kind of performance industry are constantly encouraged to be
sexysexysexy and show as much skin as possible… without showing the
dreaded naked boobs. Because, my friends, having nipples makes you a
whore.

And sure, maybe she was hacked. And if so, I feel really bad for you,
Hayley. That sucks ass and is not okay for someone to leak photos of
you that you really didn’t want people to see. But if you did post it
yourself? Fine. I’m glad you felt comfortable with that, and I’m
sorry that that confidence got taken away so quickly in the face of
“disappointed” fans. Either way, I don’t like Paramore much at all,
but I still fucking respect you as a person, and I hope that you
appreciate that in the face of people either defending that you would
“never do such a thing” or being “disappointed” in you. Really, you
are twenty-one years old, and it is not a big damn deal.