Feminism | Posted by Gabby Catalano on 02/1/2017
Moving Forward After An Abusive Relationship
Credit: Gabby Catalano
When I started putting together a book proposal for a collection of personal essays on domestic abuse in relationships, I knew I had to write about Tom,* my first boyfriend and first love. We were only together for three months, but I still have enough stories about the emotional and sexual abuse I experienced while dating him to fill an entire book.
I understand what other abuse survivors say when they say their abusers “cared” for them even while they were making their life feel like Hell. Their abuser probably seemed charming at first and was maybe even humorous. They may have seemed wounded and in need of care. Tom was all of these things.
When I was sad, Tom was sadder. When I was happy, Tom …
Feminism | Posted by Lily A on 05/25/2016
Both Hands: Reflecting On A Manipulative Relationship
What I learned from an unhealthy relationship
I started dating a guy about a week into my freshman year of college. He was, and still is, brilliantly creative and blisteringly intelligent. He thought I was unbearably pretty and we had our first sort of date in the rain under the awning of a bank. I was living away from home, in the middle of nowhere. I was starstruck.
We loved each other deeply and were happy for the first few months. We wrote poetry side by side in the library and, when I asked him about his intentions for us, he kissed my knee and said, “long term.
Our happiness, however, was delicate. He had a strict no PDA policy, which even seemed to include looking at me when we …
Feminism | Posted by June S on 10/26/2015
My Experience Dating Someone with a Mental Illness
When I was 23 years old I dated two men at once. One taught me how I should be treated and the other taught me just the opposite. I regret neither relationship.
I met Noel first and he was everything I thought I wanted in a partner. He was smart, nice, and interesting and seemed to genuinely like me and care about what I had to say. We had a great first date: We ate brunch at a place he used to work. The food was really good. I remember that I ate avocado toast. He told me about his childhood. He said he grew up in Europe and moved to New York to become an actor about a year prior. I remember thinking he was really, really cute. As …
Feminism | Posted by Caroline V on 05/8/2015
Even If They Don’t Ask, Do Tell.
I’ve always thought of myself as a very strong, independent, and at times, outspoken young woman. I was confident in my voice and in myself, certain that I would never find myself in a situation with anyone, boy or a girl, that I couldn’t handle. I was always taught that no one should have the power to make you feel uncomfortable in your own skin. But then, my freshman year of college, I experienced something that called this into question.
Hook-up culture in my college, like colleges everywhere, is prominent and over the years I have seen it effect our attitudes and expectations of sexual relationships. But in my experience, unseen, unspoken and especially nuanced forms of violence that are hidden within relationships are more prevalent than the …
Pop-Culture | Posted by Chloe H on 02/2/2015
The Real Reason Fifty Shades Of Grey Is Sexist
I first heard about Fifty Shades of Grey on NPR when I was 15. It was the tail end of the story, and all that I could glean was the name, that it was an immensely popular work of fiction, and that it was particularly popular among the elderly in nursing homes. Priding myself in being a well-informed and well-read individual, I decided I should be reading this seemingly topical and influential book. I pranced into Barnes and Noble on my high horse, bragging to my friend about how I was buying a very popular book to enhance my personal literature collection. When I told her what the book was, she blushed and said her Mom wouldn’t let her read it.
“Why?” I asked, thoroughly confused.
“Because it’s… porn!” She …
Feminism | Posted by Dylan M on 01/23/2015
The Feminist Reflections of a Recent College Grad
While I have always felt passionate about advocating for equal rights and opportunities for all people, I didn’t find my feminism until my Junior year of college. After having several personal experiences that made me examine the way I had been treated by others, myself, and society, I found my voice and started to use it productively to try and spark change.
Looking back, though, I wish I could have found my feminism sooner. If I had, I think I could have been more empathetic and compassionate in my approach to a lot of situations I experienced as a freshman in college. I may not be able to change my own past, but I hope that I can shape the experiences of others by sharing my own. Here are a …
Feminism | Posted by Maya Richard-Craven on 07/7/2014
What’s Your ‘Weapon Of Choice?’
American photographer Richard Johnson brings attention to the invisible effects of verbal abuse in his series, "Weapon of Choice." (Weapon of Choice - Hurtwords.com / Facebook)
It was not your typical walk of shame, like the kind you see in high school movies after someone loses their virginity. Instead, it was me, an athletic-looking African-American girl, sobbing my way downtown, just on the border of USC and gang territory.
A fellow Trojan, who I had been talking to for a year, had originally said I could stay over at his place.
“I don’t care what I said. I lied.”
“It’s 4 am and we are in South Central LA, you are just going to kick me out… Can’t I just sleep on your floor?”
“What are you still doing …
Feminism, Pop-Culture | Posted by Marie B on 10/21/2011
FBomb Talks Sex: First, Do You
sometimes, alone time is a good thing
When I was fourteen, my dad told me that the most important thing I would ever learn was how to be alone. Granted, he said this as he took away my cell phone, Facebook and cut off all ties I had to the outside world. I was crushed to say the least. At the time, high-school-freshman-me felt like my dad was completely overreacting to the fact that I had made out with a boy, especially since he was my boyfriend. That meant something, right? And my friends had all kissed boys, so I didn’t understand why it wasn’t okay that I had, too.
However, the time spent on my virtual desert island, as sucky as it was, really allowed me time to think. …